Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
Keevarou 17
Understandable that he would be happy, not everyone knows how to make a girl come. But maybe you should talk to him about what you like in bed or not, communication is the key after all. But you should be honest, that was all, have a nice day.
jDCrackpot 7
I think you kinda deserve it- You need to teach him how to get you off, and the 'finally' makes me think you haven't. A clit isn't a doorbell, you can't just press and hope someone comes!
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Comments (109)
Keevarou 17
Understandable that he would be happy, not everyone knows how to make a girl come. But maybe you should talk to him about what you like in bed or not, communication is the key after all. But you should be honest, that was all, have a nice day.
MizzErikaHart 8
Should have just sneezed. I heard somewhere that sneezing is like an ******. Going to google verify now...
MizzErikaHart 8
It's an ****** of the face**
kat2812 1
I agree 100%. communication is key...if you fake it your guy is going to continue to do the same thing because he thinks its what gets you off. You can be honest without being demanding or harsh. Your guy will appreciate it, he wants to please you.
Mons_fml 27
I have noticed that most of the stories on FML are girls complaining obout their boyfriends. Seriously.
titzenpitzer 9
why thumb this one down? It's true. Stop complaining, start adapting.
VorpikeII 17
Sneezes are 1/8th of an ******. Or something like that.
DobiesJS2012 9
So if a sneeze makes your heart skip a beat does that mean an ****** kills you for a split second?
xblair 11
Atleast you didn't fake it.
THE_A_TEEN 28
#31/36, half of the intimacy section wouldn't exist.
cajekraze 7
Sometimes you gotta train them
other121 2
Lmao, but it's definatly true!
breannekilmer18 0
I agree , thats all i ever see on here
kayla_ann0o 9
Maybe you should just go along with it..... Keep him happy
shannonreneee 11
And have an average sex life? It's so unfair for women to pretend to enjoy what a man is doing in bed. Tell him what you like, OP, you'll eventually get a result.
I_Hug_Cats 26
women logic... and then they complain about not being satisfied.
kat2812 1
Its unfair to both involved. Guys want to please us (unless its a one night stand, then they might not give a damn). making love/having sex should never be a chore, and if you just go with it' that is exactly what it will become.
biggestfan23 11
#2 you and half the women in the world have that logic. Your saying that you would be satisfied with a below average sex life instead of a mind-blowing one. I know that I would wanna know if I'm satisfying a woman right because that's VERY important
MuseFan1991 14
#2, i think you need to go back to the fifties where that state of mind is still the norm. in the 21st century its a woman's right to enjoy having sex
kayla_ann0o 9
Nah my boyfriend pleases me just saying in he's that excited why ruin it for him.
videokid2000 10
78- It wouldn't ruin it for me if my girlfriend said I wasn't giving her orgasms. It would make me happier when I actually did give her one.
happle 21
2-You are what's wrong with the world.
soldiat_fml 17
2 - "Maybe you should just go along with it to keep him happy?" Wow. Never thought someone would give advice like that. Please don't tell me you follow your own advice.
jDCrackpot 7
I think you kinda deserve it- You need to teach him how to get you off, and the 'finally' makes me think you haven't. A clit isn't a doorbell, you can't just press and hope someone comes!
harlequinn10 3
Liked the analogy!
Feared 9
32- Thank God you told us! I hate not knowing who is behind the thumbs up. I'll be able to sleep easily tonight :)
Il_Maestro 6
I would argue that a clit and a doorbell are pretty much the same thing. I can't tell you how many times I've been pleasuring my girlfriend and right as I think she's about to come, she stops, hands me a Bible, and asks whether I've heard the good news of Jesus Christ.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You can repeatedly press on it until someone comes, though!
Calyx_fml 22
Ding dong!
biglittlehead 12
I want to thumb up this coment but it has 69 thumbs up and I don't want to ruin it. :/
Ugi 27
Then show him what you like - practice makes perfect, as they say!
kira_the_boss 1
What he doesn't know won't hurt him
Devin91 20
It seems that a lot FML's on here are due to false orgasims.
llamafish 25
You shouldn't be holding back your sneezes. It's not good for a relationship.
VictoriaSchultz 8
Only during sex.
KiddNYC1O 22
Your head might explode. His head probably exploded too.... Lol.
Devin91 20
You should probably just tell him. That's probably something that shouldn't be kept to yourself.
SkyBirdy 5
Put a shirt on fool.
SkyBirdy 5
Yeah! What #50 said!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Your shorts are falling, dear sir. It certainly won't please her. Pull them up, pull them up! Or someone scary will violate your butt. :D
Devin91 20
Check again bro, changed my profile pic.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Too late. You have been judged. Also, no Gusta PDA.
Lifes_a_bust 0
Yikes, you make that kind of face?
challan 19
It's just a sneeze, Op! Let it out. You need to be relaxed so you can help your body reach ******. The big question is, why haven't you taught him how to give you one? If he's been trying with no success, that's your fault not his. It's your body and your relationship. Trust me when I say that he'll LOVE the lesson.
The_Hitdude 12
Solution: 1.) Sneeze 2.) Tell him it wasn't an ******, and talk to about how he can help you get there. It isn't fair on either party to lie, so be honest; and do it quick.
SkoomaKi 28
I like your thinking. Or she could release it when she does eventually ******, so she gets a double ****** as it were? I heard sneezing is like having a mini ******.