Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
Inkedldd 8
Someone missed health class.
Ziggy122 15
Bullet = DODGED.
VulpesImortalis 4
a herm would be an amazing experience. don't knock it.
margeaux33 17
Well, it actually IS an undeveloped tiny penis... but still, you deserve someone more knowledgeable :)
xJebu 8
I'll be your boyfriend lol
arre2006 19
With that mentality he's never going to get laid now
SweetStuff88 7
Technically speaking, a clit is an undeveloped penis from in the womb
ViviMage 40
Biologically speaking, the penis/ciltoris is the same organ. Hormones determine if it stays a ciltoris in females or elongates into a penis in males. Males show the exact opposite with breasts; they have all the parts and some can lactate, but hormones prevent the development of breast tissue. Whatever happened to sex Ed? I recall learning about this in school.... Count your blessings you didn't say with someone willing to act on his ignorance.
Saikon1357 25
They didn't teach that in my sex Ed class. I'm still surprised we got to learn about the basic anatomy and STDs. Especially considering I live in the Bible Belt...
superdom 12
I'm gonna go bash my head on a table a thousand times because that's how stupid he is
nurchok 15
He's stupid, but it doesn't make it worth banging YOUR head a 1000 times. Just find the idiot and bash his head, maybe he'll see the light at the end of tunnel :)
ihearuscreamin 13
He was clearly jealous that your ******** is bigger than his penis. His loss.