Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (272)
dakatabg 31
Retarded boyfriend
BronzeShoe 11
Actually, the ******** is technically an undeveloped penis. But that's no reason to say that you're a hermaphrodite because of it, what an idiot!
queerdragon 20
What does he think it is going to do, mini-**** on him.
BeachGirl27 23
At risk of sounding like a total smart-arse, we were told that the ******** is very much like a micro-penis in terms of it being an erogenous zone, engorging during sex etc, when I was at medical school. The guy's probably heard something and gotten the wrong end of the stick!
timss4 19
I'm hoping he knew it wasn't a penis but just couldn't deal with a clit that big... Because otherwise I'm losing faith in my own gender lol
picturescrazy 24
Technically, a penis is just an oversized ********.... seeing as how all babies start off "female"
SuperSofie 23
Just when you think they can't possibly be making them that stupid anymore...
leemccoy10 1
Actually it is its an underdeveloped penis
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well he is in for a big surprise with the rest of the female population...
RockySnakes 10
lol well how big is it for him to think that?