Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
Shandra78 9
Stupidity is self limiting, lets hope this one never figures out how to reproduce.
aubreybradt 9
Technically a ******** is the almost the same thing as a tiny little penis, all nerve endings and whatnot..Doc? Back me up?
Serenti 19
Weeell, techniqually the clit is a mini-penis... When we are fetuses it either fully develops or doesn't, thus making us male/female. That doesn't mean that was called for. Be happy you do not have to spend the rest of your life with an ignorant twerp like himself.
ncp246 2
I just spent 20 minutes logging in (forgot my password and had to reset it and everything) to make that exact point.
Grauncho 27
Looks like he should start preparing for a very lonely life ahead of him.
voimoro 0
What's with everybody saying the clit is an underdeveloped penis? Actually the penis is a large clit. You make it sound like women were some kind of freakishly underdeveloped males, wtf.
Ownord_fml 10
Well fetuses all start off as females... (then there is all the story of the gene SRY on the Y chromosomes)
Thorzix 23
Good, don't try to get back the dumbass, make sure he never breeds please.
worldclassrager 41
If he thinks that he'll be single for a long time...actually forever...you unfortunately found a nut job the next one you have should appreciate that you are 100% a chick...
dukie420 4
So you are one or aren't one you weren't very clear...
Markus12 8
Well maybe your ******** is big.. And he was just mocking that fact..
morngo 8
Actually to be politically correct he's right. Every baby starts out as a girl and only when the Y chromosome is added does the clit grow and become a penis
withered 30
He is correct? How? He called her a hermaphrodite while mistaking a ******** for a male penis. How is that right? Just because those 2 organs are similar and penis is an "overgrown" ******** it does not mean that those 2 are the same. So you're basically saying that every person on the planet is hermaphrodite while that clearly isn't the case. Let me help you with the dictionary definition of a hermaphrodite: "a person or animal having both male and female sex organs or other sexual characteristics, either abnormally or (in the case of some organisms) as the natural condition". So no, her ex is not right as ******** is a female body part.