Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
grumpybr 13
You're better off.
SirTalkaton 22
You dodged all kinds of bullets. Print out pics of both a ******** and a tiny penis and put it somewhere public and break it down for him. What an idiot.
tsent8 15
Hey it's not his fault. When he looked down and could see a mirror image of his penis that was the first logical thought.
DommeAshlee 11
I thought the same thing.
thejimler 9
At least you can be satisfied knowing that he'll never find another 'woman' in his love life.
ginawater19 13
That's ******* hilarious. He's gonna think every girl is a guy now lol!
Abenti 8
Natural selection at work.
malheartsnutmeg 20
Don't tell him about hyenas, it will blow his mind.
HeyMacklemore 10
XD That's the funniest thing I've read all day!
ViviMage 40
YES! The female phallus and giving birth and copulating THROUGH an enlarged ********! Well, to be fair, females have high level male hormones to build a hierarchy, and that may explain the non female looking parts....
Dusty_Busters 15
What.... Are you serious? I'm scared to look it up lol
BrookieAnn 19
Probably the same size as his so he got confused
QMAN4000 10
Burn
Iniezian 18
Eh, not to be a killjoy here, but a ******** actually IS a tiny penis, and just as male nipples are unfinished female nipples that can't produce milk, a clit is an unfinished penis, and it CAN turn into something that looks like a small penis with enough testosterone and anabolic steroids. Anyone remember Thomas Beattie, the transgender "pregnant man" explaining that on Oprah?
jem970 19
Not to be a killjoy but men (genetically XY) can lactate. It has been proven, also just because you are born with XY or XX chromosomes that is not a "fool-proof" method for deciding your sex during development. There are a lot studies that show some men and women can have the wrong chromosomes for their gender but still physically have the appearance of male or female. It has a lot to do with the hormones that effect the fetus during all stages of their development on which gender the baby will actually be. Just saying.
Ownord_fml 10
Besides, since all fetuses are "girls" if the gene SRY isn't activated, it's the other way around: a penis is an "over sized clit" ;)
roshae_16 11
I was hoping SOMEONE would point that out.
olpally 33
Wow, what a ******* moron. I hope he never breeds... Ever. Dodged a dumb bullet there!
Elliestorm 8
Well it is...
justskylerdonn 6
Technically, he's right. The ******** is the organ that ends up growing into the penis during development..... But it's ridiculous that he didn't know all females have that.