Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
mkcherry 14
Mail him a copy of a detailed anatomy graphic of a ****** so he doesnt go around saying your a hermaphrodite. But I would have dumped him anyways for being a supreme dumbass, so its not not much of a loss on you part.
Jazzybee1020 7
Wellllll it is.. Kinda
hplover7 11
I would say you dodged a bullet there! He is going to be very confused when his next girlfriend and next one are also hermaphrodites...
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Throw that one back and keep on walking.
twinkiefeets 17
No one is that stupid. He just wanted to dump you.
RKD 23
Yeah, that's basically what a clit is,,,I agree with #219!
brhu 5
Technically it is, I guess. In development it either turns into a penis or a ********.
thisisFMLsoFYL 11
Well now u know he's a virgin and an idiot
bizarro890 1
obviously not your fault. you may just have a very large clit.
fightingfu 5
Later, he's discussing your tiny penis with his friends, and he slowly realizes the opportunity that he's lost... I mean, the way you told this, it seems like he saw it pretty close AND THIS IS WHY I SUPPORT WATCHING ****