Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
FrankHotpants 31
********?...I believe it's an old old wooden ship right?
nurchok 15
Wrong! lmfao. lol wow, a wooden ship, eh? :)
FrankHotpants 31
It's not?...oh well please do tell.
beclaurela 18
I don't think this is much of a loss. Consider yourself lucky.
JenLieber86 10
Anatomically speaking...it pretty much is
wabbitamy 7
Where, in fact, his penis is just a giant ********.
Ins0mau 20
OMG! HE'S a Hermaphrodite!
Jjan04 14
The ******** actually is an extremely tiny penis. When a girl gets a sex change, she is given medicine to make her ******** grow into a full sized functioning penis (with extra surgery of course). So he is, in a sense, correct.
withered 30
No, he is not correct. Penis is overgrown ********. They are similar but that is not what her ex had in mind. He thought it is an actual male penis, that she was a hermaphrodite which she clearly is not because she has a ******** and NOT a penis. Unless you think that everyone on this planet is a hermaphrodite because ******** and penis are similar.
mccrightp 29
Seriously? If he is really this stupid then you're much better off without him.
yourface107 3
Her bf is actually the smart one!! And her bf's lack of anatomy is right! I have plenty of transgendered female to male friends who have gone through the procedure!! They take testosterone to make the ******** grow into about a 3 inch penis! It also makes their boobs shrink and their body hair grow faster!
nurchok 15
... and go bald faster...
spunkylady 24
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...
nurchok 15
#115, +1 that. I think I'll go chop off my own sick now, I don't need my children growing up in a world populated by dipshits like him...
musikchik 6
Actually, that's exactly what it is. We all start out as girls but then the clit grows for boys. They grow balls and those parts go in the girls. Tell him not to take it personally.
jeepers_1 21
Also medically known as gonads (same word for ovaries and testes)
Steffi 26
That's not exactly what it is. A penis is more like a giant ********, and a ******** is a ********.
bfcc25 5
Actually, technically he is right. When a fetus changes into the female form the nerves which were going to be the penis turn into the ********. So technically he's right but he's still a frickin moron.
fmineironlife 3
we all start out as female, not male
falafalo 25
We all start out with AMBIGUOUS internal and external genitalia. In the presence of a Y chromosome and male hormones the fetus will develop male sexual organs/genitals. In the absence of a Y chromosome and male hormones, the fetus will default to the development of female sexual organs/genitals.
Papaya1234 9
some people are idiots!