Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
Kalipczo 21
Well the clit actually is an underdeveloped penis so... He's in for a big surprise when the next chick he dates is also a "hermaphrodite"
Futacy 30
Virgin Alert! Virgin Alert!
ironik69 31
All male periscopes down.
ragdoll316 9
He most definitely was NOT the clit commander.
mercC63girl 6
Actually it kind of is. Is has the same erectile tissue as a penis
jeepers_1 21
Some girls even squirt, so I guess if you want you could put 2 and 2 together...
buckdharma 38
You're built like a car, you've got a hub cap diamond star halo You're built like a car, oh yeah
functional 13
...it kind of is.
amifaiyaz 12
A clit IS an underdeveloped penis, what the he'll... He's not ready for women.
Okapi_fml 12
Why is everyone encouraging this breakup due to an uninformed boyfriend? Maybe it was just me, but I never learned about the female anatomy at all during school and I probably wouldn't spend my time learning the technicalities of it if I was interested in it. I don't see why dumping him is so encouraged when the OP can inform her hopefully-not-ex-for-long boyfriend about what he doesn't know. Genitalia isn't common sense and I don't believe it's common knowledge for lots of people. I mean, how is anyone supposed to please the opposite gender if no one is willing to teach them?
ironik69 31
They aren't encouraging the OP to dump said bf. Said bf already dumped her.
Okapi_fml 12
Oh, I'm sorry if that's how I made it sound. I understand that OP already got dumped, I was trying to state my confusion to people who are in favor of this dumping/break up just because he was uninformed. My comment was made in hopes that this relationship could be easily reconciled as the problem is not that big in my opinion. Again, sorry for any confusion I caused. ^_^;
jeepers_1 21
Didn't you take sex Ed at some point? It was mandatory for me in high school
nurchok 15
Ironically #69, the problem is that the dumbass bf should've watched some **** before getting intimate, heck, before getting a girlfriend in the first place...
Okapi_fml 12
122 - I did, but like I said, we didn't learn or go very in depth on female anatomy. When we learned about bodies and stuff we learned about hormones, how puberty would change the body, and mainly reproduction. Even then, the problem could've been too, that's OP's ex-boyfriend wasn't just uninformed but obtained false information. As I think about my health class, a lot of things were so vague or even one-sidedly opinionated that I was confident I knew certain aspects of the body when in fact I knew nothing. 148 - I don't really think OP's ex-boyfriend is qualified to be called a dumbass for not watching ****. I've never seen **** with a woman, so I'm not sure, but I'm thinking maybe if he had it still could've scared him to see OP's vagenie up close as **** usually follows a standard of beauty, right? I don't really know, I just feel like if you are seeing a ****** for the first time, or seeing one in person for the first time, especially in an intimate setting, you're full of emotions and you're nervous and you're scared and it's safe to say an overreaction like that isn't really much of one and when logic comes back in the brain, I think it can all easily be worked out.
Setareh23 34
Well I think the main point for 'dumping' him (though as mentioned, he did the dumping) is he didn't even give her the chance to explain, or look it up on Google even.... he just flat broke up with her. His stupidity is not that he wasn't informed to begin with, but that he just assumed things and took it out on his poor girlfriend. Obviously he doesn't care that much about her anyways, so I figure people here are just trying to encourage OP.
vanaathiel 13
It's not an underdeveloped penis, but it is homologous to the penis. Still, he should probably retake health class or something!
sassy2085 16
I agree health classes are in order. On another note if this is what most of the male population thinks the clit is a tiny penis or underdeveloped one then this explain their aversion to touching it. Lol :)