Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
chuckcloninger 12
I think it would be pretty funny to get him to tell you again why he breaking up with you, this time on tape, and play it each time you **** one of his buddies. Just a thought you know?
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
I can promise you because of his level of sheer stupidity that he wouldn't have known what to do with it anyways.
an3ph 20
Sooooooooooo… are you?
cmb8280 24
O_O ... Just wow. Probably best for you this way. If he doesn't know what it is he certainly won't know what to do with it!!
Dusty_Busters 15
What is he 12? Maybe 13? Who knows
yourface107 3
Haha your bf's lack of anatomy is right! I have plenty of transgendered female to male friends who have gone through the procedure!! They take testosterone to make the ******** grow into about a 3 inch penis! It also makes their boobs shrink and their body hair grow faster!
BodyCountEndless 20
Actually the ******** is technically a baby penis. It's the beginning of a formation of a penis before the gender is decided.
xgetxbentx 13
Sounds like you're better off without him, though I hope he doesn't try to spread that as a rumor.
lbrown66 12
The ******** is actually an unformed penis... So he isn't too far off the truth there
fmineironlife 3
^truth. it even becomes erect in the same way, just, you know, not as much, but blood does collect in it and it has the same number of nerve endings as the penis, just much closer together
nurchok 15
Doesn't change that he's a retard
tj5810 21
Looks like he's going to run into a lot of hermaphrodites then...