Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
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Top comments
Mischief109 11
What I'm wondering is why did you make out without brushing your teeth first?!
EvilTwerp 12
Maybe you should brush your teeth. Not everyone likes to be disgusting.
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Comments (91)
br0ccoli 15
"Did you have salmon last night? Yeah? I can taste it." *vomits*
CallMeMcFeelii 14
This comment made my stomach churn haha. I don't know why people are thumbing you down.
br0ccoli 15
103-They're thumbing me down because it makes them want to vomit. It's hard to thumb that up. I wouldn't.
UnionsSuck 5
WTF haha talk about a mood killer
lobum 12
Your username makes me want to scream...
UnionsSuck 5
Why is that?
aleeshttylXD 9
what r unions
itssosparkly 21
I have to wonder about his motivation in searching your teeth like that. Was he hoping to find a mid-kissing snack?
bmwguy01 8
you know he was and if she has braces he just hit a buffet!!!
musicforever444 4
Hahaha omg, you guys are disgusting!
lucy_hewitt15 6
You can always chew some gum next time! Gods luck
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with orbit!
MrsAlexander83 10
I don't see how chewing gum gets rid of the fuzzies on the teeth--that stuff doesn't go away unless you brush your teeth! I see gum as a way to hide bad breath, but not to get rid of that junk. BTW OP you should really get that checked out if your teeth feel that bad within one day! That means you probably need to brush your teeth several times a day! 8/
Calyx_fml 22
Brush them with his tongue?!
bitter3ulogy 0
If he said it, you should.
Blacksxe 1
Then brush your teeth. Its that simple.
YourAddictionx 9
Maybe she does but not that good... & why would he rub his tongue across her teeth in the first place?
Bonzer 2
*Than
jjames7543 13
@131: no, it's then...
In_some_bullshit 13
And he should too, now!
Breaker132 8
If you would please apply some simple logic: Perhaps OP DID happen to brush her teeth, but the boyfriend's opinion differs?
unixdude 9
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes.
SkoomaKi 28
I think this may be a reference to an earlier FML. What's it doing here, I do not know.
unixdude 9
Really? There is a FML about a girl getting a free teeth cleaning (courtesy of pubic hair during a bj) - then there is this FML about a girl with dirty teeth. How the hell can someone read these and not put them together?