Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend has only showered about three times since we’ve been on lockdown. Our whole place smells like a sewer main burst in a pro-sports locker room filled with sweaty nut sacks and dead feet. His excuse? "It’s not like we have anywhere to go babe." I can’t even eat around him. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
Could be anything from gingivitis to tonsil stones. Tell him how it smells, and then tell him to go to the damn dentist.
RichardPencil 32
He needs to see a doctor. He could have problems in his lungs, sinuses or digestive tract that could be the source of the stank.
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Comments (21)
purplekanc 24
Have you tried a tongue scraper and drinking more water
theark 14
Have you checked for gingivitis
JasonThorn 23
Could be anything from gingivitis to tonsil stones. Tell him how it smells, and then tell him to go to the damn dentist.
TwoBytesCarley 27
Exactly my thinking; also a rotted tooth or a stomach problem can do it as well. Either way, if it’s not going away by a simple brush of the teeth or mouth wash then it’s something in need of medical (dental) attention.
RichardPencil 32
He needs to see a doctor. He could have problems in his lungs, sinuses or digestive tract that could be the source of the stank.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
if you were a good girlfriend you'd not make excuses and tell him why you're not kissing him
Trinity Fenwick 7
sounds like serious halitosis or denture breath
Charlie Given 28
Get him to the doctor stank breath is usually a sign of a serious health condition, bur do it soon before it's too late
Madison Gliosci 16
Is it possible he’s got a dead tooth? My fiancé had the same problem and it turned out to be his wisdom tooth rotting
Mathalamus 25
Ironically, brushing for ten minutes is likely to inflict more damage than not brushing...
TCRII 30
This is why you should never hold in a fart. Seriously. You body absorbs the gas and re-releases it in your breath.