Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML
Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Michaela 10
'Please insert Appendage P into Hole V'.
suitgirl5 5
If you don't know how to have sex or have an understanding of how it works at all you are too young to be doing it.
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Comments (437)
purpleman321 4
Youre both fuking retarded.
ssnowywinter 0
Tell me, how does one fuke? Perhaps you should proofread your comments before making asshole statements.
asherah14 7
Are you so young that you haven't been through sex ed in school? Or your parents haven't had a sex talk with you? If you really couldn't figure it out then you are not ready yet and need some more education before trying again.
tobedd 13
Utah has baned sex Ed from schools now stating that it's "the parents" role
dswett4596380590 0
My parents never had the sex ralk with me and I'm fine I thought it was normal human nature
TColby 12
Good for Utah. Why should the schools have to teach classes about sex just because parents are too embarassed or don't care enough to talk to their kids about sex? Sex education is a waste of a school's time and money.
bettyboop428 24
Some kids don't have strong parental figures in their lives to have the talk with them. My parents were like the children in our family so we had to learn from school. Some families just don't work that way.
The_Hitdude 12
If you can't figure our how to have sex (I thought it was pretty obvious, amd I'm sure you learn how it works in Health class) then you're definitely too young to be having sex.
chengy4191 7
Either too young or too stupid lol
idontknowyou123 0
'...And remeber: You put the peanut in the peanut hole!'
PenguinSwag47 0
If your age is on the clock, you're too young for a ****.
asherm 15
Ha, good one! But I think even a few years past that....
misterfister 2
I can't have sex till after one thousand two hundred and fifty nine?
violetthebrave 3
If she's old enough to count, she's old enough to mount.
CoreyC07 10
What's to understand? You get a boner, slap her ******* around some and then stick it inside her and pee.
yourlifesfucked 0
South park win. That one was on last night =D
NTalbott 4
"Mom, do I have a dad?" "Well, you see, Eric, sometimes when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, the man puts his hoo-hoo-dilly in the woman's cha-cha."(This is from an old one, but it's still an awesome SP episode)
I_heart_sex 1
When I was younger I thought I had to pee inside them too! Wrong liquid. But I agree if you can't figure things out, you didn't meet the criteria of instinct + age + responsibility.
BostonBruinsFan 8
I did too, at first, I didn't know about inserting tho…
ocie14 9
Probably a blessing in disguise
odexy 12
Seriously? My (now ex) boyfriend and I were both virgins when we got together and we had no problems. It's not rocket science o.O I literally do not understand how one couldn't figure out how to stick a penis into a ****** and thrust.
dswett4596380590 0
There's a rocket involved. Therefore rocket science
gbylk 4
Um how can you not figure it out...it's a pretty simple thing
ohreallynow1992 3
Maybe he's just not actually that attracted to you and couldn't get it up...