Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
best username
riplikethat 0
"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.
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Comments (92)
burrito1 0
lol
turtlebots 0
Yo poop, I know you be slippin' in poop, and i'ma let you finish, but MY DOG JUST HAD THE BEST POOP OF ALL TIME. THE BEST POOP OF ALL TIME!
Ohnothingreally 0
Lol Kanye West. But that's just nasty. Ew. D:
2345_fml 0
This Kanye West crap needs to stop. Why is everyone changing every subject into what he said?
stardustskye 0
because it's funny??
muchocaliente 0
hey guess what! You're first. But I'm first to be sexy. YDI for being a ****.
ladiidaa 0
Because people like to make old memes older and unfunny.
turtlebots 0
YO 2345, I KNOW U HATIN ON KANYE AND IMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT I AM GOD AND MY WORDS ARE GOLD!!
dnlphm94 0
@#60: What are you talking about?
DangerousBabee 0
Lol i actaully laughed at this one xD
soccerfreak878 0
Wouldnt u?
Ilovelife07 0
best username
pancakes_n_syrup 0
I was thinking that too! ha I saw her name and thought, wow, love the username over the FML :)
BakerMan_fml 0
I agree
tingting1 0
so i'm guessing you slipped IN it? that's nasty .... :
riplikethat 0
"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.
Shmeagle 0
Slip n' Slide style!
horsestarz 7
No pun intended?
ElizabethNL93 20
3, what was your first clue?
_jdreaming 0
gnr! that is freakin' hilarious!
blondbrunette916 0
wow. hopefully it didnt get in ur mouth, nose ears, hear...etc. :o
happyvalleygirl 0
massive quantity of diarrhea... bad image did you fall when you slipped?
chlorinegreen 27
did you not see that he said he slipped AND slid? that means he slip'n slide styled it!
_jdreaming 0
I'm sorry but #6 what kind of question is that? Of course he fell when he slipped. smh
Vball6 19
You could slip without falling.
plexico 4
Some people think it's funny But it's really hot and runny Diarrhea. In this case, it's all of the above!
f_my_flip_life 5
LOL!!! I could totally picture this.
caancoha 0
When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter...