Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
Pinkfl0yd 9
Doesn't matter; had snacks!
ThatGuyRory 9
Ice Cream makes everything better.
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Comments (242)
ThatGuyRory 9
Ice Cream makes everything better.
Dramori 29
What flavour of ice cream?
mango260 9
It does!
zachherbert 10
5- Rocky road..
p3mguin 7
Mint chocolate chip. YAY BUDDY!
ucoolgirl31 20
5 - rainbow.
thiscrazything 1
Did you get hard or soft ice-cream?
Spicemelon 5
Grown ups get wasted on ice cream
aaahhhfire21 0
Hmm next time just blow him guaranteed concrete
DaBugg 7
shit flavor
ssbtoday 3
I guess they both got something soft and creamy that evening.
Afish955 3
I wanna get chocolate wasted!
flamegrilled123 3
Ice cream > sex
bengermin 5
They're from Vermont, the land of Ben and Jerry's! ...I'd bet all sorts of emotions are worked out over ice cream there.
awagh666 14
The story goes that ben and jerry tried to get it on, but ended up making ice cream instead. So yeah, ice cream > sex
Dylman 6
New version of that song, "birthday sex"
ICastillo 25
I bet OP had an ****** in her mouth after eating that ice cream. So it a win win
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Doesn't matter, had ice cream"
alexm501 0
You're a nice girl....
ambowew 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That dick don't like the chick. Maybe you have a brother?
anoellem 1
Wtf?
zachherbert 10
I've reread this six or seven times, and it makes less and less sense...
alstbv12 13
It essentially means that ops boyfriend can't get hard for women and that maybe he should try his luck with men...dont worry. I speak the language of the dumb.
zachherbert 10
Ahh, a translator.. FML needs more of you.
Il_Maestro 6
I think it is also suggesting that that different guy be her own brother. In which case I am inclined to smash my head against hard objects even more.
malters 9
36- or just less stupid people
furfantasies 0
What...
folfg0 12
Guys. People like #6 breed, and vote. We are ******........... #6. I have a question. Why.... Are you?
Shadomasta 5
6- Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
angelk12 6
Bitch.
Pinkfl0yd 9
Doesn't matter; had snacks!
challan 19
I spit out my juice laughing.
Feared 9
But I'm lactose intolerant. Doesnt matter ; had snacks! I just had snaaaaacks! And it tasted so great! Felt so gooooood, yeah... ...
reddudeover 2
64 - Trying a leetle too hard, you almost come across as rabid.
Rocky007 15
Funniest comment I've seen on FML. Nicely played!
bluekid7 5
Talk about soft-serve
RogueWarrior869 23
This is why I wish we could favorite comments. XD You win some internet.
miserypoison 13
Erectile dysfunction.
UsernameHere234 13
No. This happened to me the first time I had sex. Both me and my partner were virgins and as such we were very nervous about it. Now though I never have a problem and me and her are VERY VERY sexual.
123josie123 11
How exactly does one manage to be "very sex" ?
sirpantselot 22
I'm stuck at "fairly sex". Need to take the next step up.
writergirl23 19
Lol sometimes too much sex can do that too, found it out on our honeymoon. But it is most definitely not erectile dysfunction!
lucianaamelia 21
Nearly!
toooldforthis 19
How old are you? Maybe he needs to see a doctor?
yoursucklives 36
my boyfriend had a hard time putting it in for the first time too. just try to be as relaxed as you can. aaaaand your solution with the ice cream is genius.