Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML
Today, I was written up and banned from playing my songs at the office. Turns out that my other workmates snitched on me because I was playing '90s rock and pop, which was stressing them out somehow. Of course, the burnout I had from listening to three straight hours of tacky Reggaeton music didn't matter. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shutup_matt 5
What kind of crappy music do you listen to?
deafeningsilence 8
Well, if they can't find anything, then you're in the clear.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
deafeningsilence 8
Well, if they can't find anything, then you're in the clear.
SirObvious 1
Ctrl alt delete
flockz 20
ya whenever i watch my softcore ****, my main turn on is the soothing sounds of the music. its like an instant boner.
CattyPurry 0
the only reason they're checking you out is because if you really were watching ****, they'd keep it all to themselves. :S
VeroAnne 11
Dang OP, couldn't wait till you got home for that?
tatababe 1
Bro what music were you listening too??(
dolphincheddar 10
What's softcore ****? The only **** I've heard of is the stuff where they handcuff you to a bed and whip you with chains
soccergurl95 8
So were you listening to like Justin beiber?
SuperPineApple 0
WTF were you listening to? Willow Smith? Well **** does make me want to whip my hair back and forth.
Uneedanapbro 6
Hey. You should be suspended for listening to music that is so bad it reminds people of "Shitty soft core ****" Ugh. People these days.
rallets 23
bow chicka wah wah
Trollicious 0
Wait you're not allowed to watch **** at work?? Then why the privacy and comfortable chair. Just as long as your man goo doesn't hit the dude in the next cubicle it should be fine, just like masturbating on an airplane or on an elementary school playground.
rodeochick754 4
dude! wtf is wrong with u?!
My_Name_Is_ 5
Well stop watching shitty soft-core ****...or plug some headphones so your co worker wont listen to disturbing noises.
daysgoby902 6
I think your co-workers were just playing a joke on you, or maybe they don't like you very much and were trying to get you fired.
CoDplayer96 4
how do you message ppl? from your ipod on fml
daysgoby902 6
I don't think that's possible but you do have your phone number in your info so I'm sure you have enough messages to worry about
rallets 23
^ maybe its not enough?
idontcare8l 3
112- its not ilegal its frowned apon , lke masturebating on an airplane
rallets 23
^ redundant?
LolMoqz 10
107- Brown chicken, brown cow
Mercedeh910 0
that's enough a you
Friaza 29
This is where programming comes in handy. Deleting all **** files can be just a double click away. (Back them up on a pen-drive before this happens) And you can even write the programme in less than 60 seconds on something as basic as Notepad :D
thewhitelover3 9
28- you just made my day beiber sucks
shutup_matt 5
What kind of crappy music do you listen to?
skiier4life 1
The 2 girls one cup background song. That's why it's "shitty"
whatsittuya 2
What they heard was Justin Bieber singing baby.
shutup_matt 5
25- Please don't reply to my comment to make a retarded Justin Bieber joke. Thank you. :)
chelseaaababyyy 17
25 - i thought it was funny(:
haydenbro03 4
28- shut the **** up.
YayorNay 8
Hey Matt, shut up.
puppiesandrainbo 1
50-shut the **** up I thought it was funny :)
AnonymousTroll 2
The thought of Justin Bieber having anything to do with ****...*shrudders*
BrokenDreamer24 15
Wouldn't any **** it does be considered child ****?
KiddNYC1O 22
Well, JB does moan in that song...
rodeochick754 4
he more so squaks i thought
baseball6917 8
jb can't do ****, he hasn't hit puberty.
danny_x3dgr 0
Probably playing JB but not "baby" he was probably playing "some buddy to love" Jajaja
fatraptorjesus13 9
...,who cares about JB anymore?
futtbuck101 1
Little river band
Jaxx66 21
Ohhh. Number two thinks his comment is special. Anyhow! That's why metal saves lives (and keeps from getting suspended from work)!
rkurdek 4
-50 you don't have to be a dick
jmrgirl3 6
I do **** u
hollyman 0
EPIC FAIL
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
LIAF CIPE
knights95 9
Niw cipe^
eminemchick 19
wtf ftw
KiddNYC1O 22
Cocaine's a hell of a drug.
Suchagoonnn 4
^ Chappelles show reference!!!
txgirl2013 14
Get better earphones..??
partyfool2011 4
Yes because letting the co-workers hear the music in HD will really solve op's problem.
moojugs 6
He just meant earphones that will keep the ******* music in them, so that his co-workers WON'T hear it.
Soloman212 28
"Letting the co-workers hear the music in HD" "Hear the music in HD" "Music in HD" Lolwut.
partyfool2011 4
******* music... Pun intended?
tsim_fml 0
Suspension is always better than working unless your a donkey
tsim_fml 0
Sorry about that predestinedly-retarded comment. Was a little toked up on Marijuana.
zinjiitsdanaa 3
You don't have to announce it to the world.
marijuanasmoker4 3
108-Yeah you do, it's in the rules.
relevantusername 0
He wasn't, he was just explaining why his comment was so ****** up.
ACM1991 9
Ask him if he got a boner when he heard that. Lol
fashionistaGirll 0
?you should read the fml properly? the boss obv didnt hear the music.. and asking your boss if he got a boner is just plain stupid
skylerXx 6
Your user name is "PornoBob." It's totally understandable. You should stop listening to shitty music.
agsilver 14
What were you listening to? Justin Bieber?
KLuff 0
This crossed my mind as well!
bigbadtim 7
Twink ****?
brunettesara5722 17
Lol at least they wont
WCARlover 35
Hahaa what kind of music do you listen to?!