Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML
Today, I was written up and banned from playing my songs at the office. Turns out that my other workmates snitched on me because I was playing '90s rock and pop, which was stressing them out somehow. Of course, the burnout I had from listening to three straight hours of tacky Reggaeton music didn't matter. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML
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Top comments
shutup_matt 5
What kind of crappy music do you listen to?
deafeningsilence 8
Well, if they can't find anything, then you're in the clear.
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Comments (161)
faillover 0
lesson learned: get a new work soundtrack! ydi definately
SirWrangler 5
Are you sure your username shouldn't have been Im(watching people get)Screwed??
brownli 6
You must listen to really bad musick
daydreamer244 13
how do they know what shitty soft-core **** movies sound like!!!??? ;)
ThatAkwardMoment 2
How the hell would they know that? You should check THEIR files...
coreysmith 0
Maybe it wuz **** lol jk
kaylapple 1
what genre of music do you listen to?
FatMan23 10
Que porno music, a funky jive chorus. Down from the heavens came naked Chuck Norris.
brdude 9
Wicked Game by Chris Isaak is the first music I thought when I read "soft-core **** movie", and it's still an awesome song!
AmethystRain 20
They probably just wanted the names of the files so they could download them when they got home.