Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML
Today, I was written up and banned from playing my songs at the office. Turns out that my other workmates snitched on me because I was playing '90s rock and pop, which was stressing them out somehow. Of course, the burnout I had from listening to three straight hours of tacky Reggaeton music didn't matter. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shutup_matt 5
What kind of crappy music do you listen to?
deafeningsilence 8
Well, if they can't find anything, then you're in the clear.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
Punkpoptart1119 20
I agree with #20. If you didn't have anything bad on there, then you wouldn't be worrying so much..hope things work out for you OP.
laurabelle69 3
Word of advice: If you listen to crappy music, don't play it at work loud enough for your co-workers to hear it.
elementalz 2
Actually I think u can take them to court and sue them for that unless u waived that rite in ur contract
gaganinia 14
lol how do they know how **** background music sounds? :/
camiguin 3
Why is your name ImScrewed? Is it because there is **** or because you've been listening to really crappy music and now the jig is up and everyone is gonna know?
motoxgrlm 3
damn....sucks
donnasd 0
hope you weren't doing anything too naughty LOL
Wederoney 16
Am I the only one who wonders how your co-workers know what kind of music is played in (shitty) softcore **** movies?
CatchtheTIMO 2
What about elevator music?
futtbuck101 1
Little river band
SxeDaze 13
I saw what you did there... (The Other Guys)