Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML
Today, I was written up and banned from playing my songs at the office. Turns out that my other workmates snitched on me because I was playing '90s rock and pop, which was stressing them out somehow. Of course, the burnout I had from listening to three straight hours of tacky Reggaeton music didn't matter. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML
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Top comments
shutup_matt 5
What kind of crappy music do you listen to?
deafeningsilence 8
Well, if they can't find anything, then you're in the clear.
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Comments (161)
jren207 24
Did they check the bins for tissues too?
witchdoctor1 9
Boners. Everytime I see your comments I have to bow down n praise u. Because not only do u have good humor but ur picture alone makes me laugh.
corrinaswan 0
U listen to music going to the bathroom? And what music do you listen to? Don't you have ear buds or head phones
macsterfun 3
I laugh at your laziness to spell 'and' and 'you'.
daferret60 1
I am the original poster on this one. No, I was not looking at ANY **** at work. I was listening to Enigma, Enya, and other ambient music selections. I would love to use earbuds, but my office does not allow them because they think it promotes people to isolate from each other. We all listen to music softly in our cubes. The thing that really sucks is that the 3-day vacation is UN-PAID and I cannot use vacation time for it.
SxeDaze 13
Sit them down at the meeting table and tell them you were promoting synergy... Like A Boss.
witchdoctor1 9
Ehh I don't feel like takin the time to spell everything. I know I should but hey it's the internet
gigglezdaclown18 0
Idk why you posted this on FML you may have a case in court if there is no **** on your pc
_Allstar_ 2
Next time try head phones they work wonders! and plus if they dont find anything related to **** then youre off the hook!
Talyn_Rahl 4
don't you get it! you've lucked OUT man, when they search your files and find no **** you can take them to the frakkin cleaners for unfair suspension CHA-CHING!