Today, we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Maybe just try lying on your back. It sounds like any other position might be too strenuous anyway.
RichardPencil 32
How old are you? 80?
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
How old are you? 80?
tounces7 28
Maybe just try lying on your back. It sounds like any other position might be too strenuous anyway.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
some things just aren't meant to be, like you getting laid😂
BurnInDemonFire 39
Either you're on meds that are thinning your blood, or your girlfriend/wife/**** buddy has a head made out of adamantium. If you're having long-lasting nosebleeds, don't just sit there complaining you're "woozy as ****", go see a doctor, because you literally need your head examined.
smartjaguargurl 17
Sounds like an anime
weeping_willow 25
Take it as a sign from the universe, man. Or don’t. Either way 🤷🏻♀️
randybryant799 21
good god. Obviously you are not ready for sex.