Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
S0CCERSTAR01 2
Should have punched him in the balls and asked if he still wanted to have sex
DawnShadow_fml 5
While your vomiting ask him if he wants a *******
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
S0CCERSTAR01 2
Should have punched him in the balls and asked if he still wanted to have sex
EatnBeef 7
Men will be men.
crazychick1269 7
If guys only knew the pain they cause.
CheckMyProfile 17
I'm sorry OP, but i lol'ed at the last sentence. :D
thinkPlNK 0
what a douche! tell him that you took a pregnancy test earlier last week and think that the vomiting and headache aren't from you getting hurt. let's see if he'll still want to have sex then.
CaptainPickles72 18
#10- If women would actually speak up when men cause this "pain". Sorry if men cause you, a 61 year old teenager, so much pain!
ThisIsMyReign 4
Haha, wonder out it went down. Girl - "what the ****!" Boy - "I'm sorry. Bend over real quick" Girl - "No, you dropped me. I puked and have a headache." Boy - "Oh, so it's all about you now, huh?"
Jonkbaby 23
this is likely how the cavemen did it
fymother 13
If you are vomiting and having a headache from a head injury, you need to see a doctor IMMEDIATELY. A serious concussion/internal bleeding is extremely dangerous. Hope you're still alive....
DoubleCross 9
I hate people who say "punch him in the balls and bla bla bla." Does that person know the pain that is caused by the groin being agitated? Not pretty dumbasses, now go **** a tree.
Cherryripe25 5
doesn't anyone remember a fml that was exactly like this one? excluding the vomiting bit.
blondbrunette916 0
vomiting after a head injury is sign of a concussion. sue the ************
kayb007 3
Well said ... Shld have squashed his balls!
Marcelb 17
OP's boyfriend probably hoped the fall would knock her out, so he could finally try anal. Disappointed that she didn't, he went for all or nothing.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
110- Your profile states that you are a [grammatical] nazi. However; there must have been an error because you do not capitalize any of your sentences.
DawnShadow_fml 5
While your vomiting ask him if he wants a *******
narrowords 18
Or a kiss.
CheckMyProfile 17
2- you made me laugh so bad!! Thanks heaps!
DawnShadow_fml 5
I'll be here all week! And the week after that and the week after that god I need a life
CaptainPickles72 18
While? OP: Blaaaaa-want a *******-aaaaahhhh?
Jonkbaby 23
op's bf status update: "OMG you guys gotta try this new thing.."
freakinglaugher 10
Sounds like a funky fetish.
Yak99 0
Some people are into that
cradle6 13
Your boyfriend's a dick. Hope your neck is okay.
madz5758 10
Sounds like you have a concussion.. I'd get that checked out =
tebowingallday 0
Aww ur to sweet :)
demonmonkey 13
Tebow all the way!
whosays1 7
As a matter of fact, sex (for women) relieves a headache, but since you were puking, it's probably not such a good idea...
teamsleep2212 0
What are you trying to get into her pants? Don't be a fuxking pussy
monnanon 14
Actually 106 that is a myth. Depends entirely on the type of headache. I have actually had orgasms that have caused the worst headaches I can remember. I think in OP's case it would make it worse.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Agreed. Sex will help migraine headaches because of improving blood flood. Sinus and concussion headaches it will do shit all for, and tension headache it will make worse.
LegallyBrunettel 0
Yeah, that had to hurt & sex probably doesn't sound to good, while puking your guts up.
AllSoul 23
Love hurts.
Mister_Triangle 21
Good thing sex is a natural painkiller
22cute 17
Good thing this isn't really love
Pelreskovich 11
What a dick.. Threw you over his shoulder, da ****? He should have just picked you up cradling you.. Now whenever he wants to light a fire you say "ehhh idk if I feel like getting knocked out today".
margie2194 12
When a guy throws you over his shoulder it's actually so sexy and primal. Lol. cave man like.
ArcadePie 10
Lazy bitch should of walked and none of this would of ever happened
rattusrattus 19
@34 Well, speaking as a woman who likes 150-cubic-centimetre brains... I respectfully disagree.
AllSoul 23
No I agree with #34, in the heat of the moment, a bit on the wild side, oh so sexy. Apart if he drops you on your head...
downtime 13
It doesn't matter whether you enjoy it or not, its a perfectly acceptable method of carrying something or someone. Why the fuss?
emdawg15 4
Yes i agree with this guy
FahrenBoo 4
I so agree with u!!!
SuperBritty23 7
What a pain in the neck...
smellymellyy 7
I see what you did there ;)
nslurve 4
Did you now?
freakinglaugher 10
Ya see, it was such a complicated and original pun, that no normal human being could possible understand it. 74 simply wanted to brag about his intellect.
gabrielle01 0
Omg cute :)
ninjuh_wingman 29
I love how he threw you over his shoulder like you were a dead body.
DingoCJ 15
Or maybe just unconscious, like he's used to..
ZGLH 11
First person to turn this into necrophilia, congrats!
DontForgetMe4 0
Hey, he might have a disgusting vomiting fetish...okay, no, that's disgusting. feel better and tell him, "No. "
summerbreeze888 10
Two girls one cup. Nuff said
rattusrattus 19
From what I've heard, Two Girls One Cup caters to the scat fetishists, not the puke fetishists.
Nutty4Muffs 3
It contains enough of both to be an all-in-one package 64.
rattusrattus 19
For my sanity, I decided not to watch it. I just read a synopsis on Wikipedia. Something about the layout takes all the 'eww' out of most things.
PaulB123 11
Nothing like a concussion right beforehand! Puke on him if you feel it again.
sjaytee 6
what a dick, you should've given him one nice hit between the legs.