Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, my dentist told me I have a cavity and blamed it on the "subpar" toothpaste I've been using - the same toothpaste he recommended six months ago at my last appointment. FML
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
Today, my dad brought the double barrel shotgun to my room, gave me his hat and said, "It's all about survival now. At any cost, Coral." He keeps calling me Coral. FML
Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
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Top comments
bubble25_fml 5
don't know if I should trust u, your fml sounds a bit fishy...
Blue87 4
ewww
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Comments (239)
rawr666 0
I'm no expert here, but coral paste sounds like it would damage your enamel, coral lumps are probably pretty abrasive...
NHLbound22 8
asshole doesn't mean I can't be smart
wriptidez 0
ya keep a a stash of the good stuff
vballchck 0
Wouldn't that be bad for your teeth?
Girl_No_2 2
coral are endangered, your mom sucks REAL BAD
lolol_BKYCHO 3
Perdix- I lol'd. Yes, I know this was a useless comment.
darkmis1 18
Well toothpaste has seaweed in it, so it's not much different...
zombiekitten87 12
Well that sounds horrible for the environment.....
Shizeffya 0
Sickk D:
J_Shorty_17 6
i just googled "coral paste" nothing came up so i googled "coral toothpaste" apparently this toothpaste (actually called Coral White) seems pretty good but it doesn't state that there are chunks or parts of coral in it..... it does state "formulated with Ionic Calcium from above sea coral" and a quote "The Eco-Safe™ logo is your assurance that this coral is harvested from an above sea source. The ocean is never touched and the reef is never harmed." I doubt there are 'chunks' of coral in your toothpaste unless it is an unnamed brand. Just felt like sharing my research, was curious to read about this toothpaste.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Fourth thing to come up on google when you search for "Coral Paste" "Coral Prophy Paste from Young Dental is a nondrying, splatter-free formulation that contains 1.23% fluoride and 1% phosphate. It has specifically formulated abrasives to allow for quick and efficient cleaning, while leaving behind a highluster finish. Coral paste comes in 2 flavors—Pink Bubble Gum or White Spearmint—in either fine or coarse grits, and comes packaged in individual 8.8 oz jars."