Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML
Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
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Top comments
tnlander 20
Fresher meat than what's inside the hot pocket and at least you can identify what animal it is.
saIty 17
I wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.
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Comments (293)
nadhirah 4
That's a very tragic death for the fly :( and sorry bout your hot pockets. Maybe you can remove it and still eat it?
LiveLaughFML 10
hey pocket party people, ready to have fun!? :D
Pixxio_O 11
R.I.P at least the fly will always be within you... Literally
livlafluv100 2
give it to someone that you hate.
Iamnotmyself 17
Quit being a baby, they have wars over these in Africa.
yamatelle 19
It adds spice to the flavor. Mmm mmm mmm crunchy!
Pixxio_O 11
Send it to 21 in the post, she seems to really like flies :D
SirObvious 1
HOT POCKET!
yamatelle 19
@27 You have no idea what you're missing out on! It tastes like fresh chicken marinated in onions, spicy garlic, with a dash of rosemary, except this one is crunchy and a bit salty.
honeysuckel 0
Why is Number Six being thumbed down for making a Hot Pocket commercial reference
Pixxio_O 11
:O post it to me instead op!!!!
LiveLaughFML 10
thankyou for catching on #52(:
zendaddy0 0
TAKE IT OFF !?!?! it adds flavor why would you do that
SCREAM4meeee 0
flies melt?
lag96 7
gross.
lag96 7
gross.
hellbilly205 17
Its just extra protien. Suck it up buttercup.
shelbygordon44 7
It's there for added flavor. Food is bland without flies
weewee1 0
protein.
BShady96 0
ribbit, bitch xD
MasterShake1100 0
When the number has a negative sign thats when it's thumbed down. FAIL.
RetardedBullFrog 4
I don't know what OP is complaining about. I put that shiz (flies) on everything!! Wait . . . Wrong reference . . .
chuckychan 8
Hey everyone
mgsoloist 14
I know an old lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why she...wait a second...I guess I know now.
hope540 0
It's called adding flavor to an already amazing dish.
_Oblivion_ 12
uh 102.. who the hell are you talking to? cuz we are all talking about hot pockets, not about having your comment thumbed down
Johnny2by4 0
you all must have acute senses to be able to taste a melted fly on a hotpocket
iluvboobies 9
Yum! Extra protein from the fly and from all those nasty germ it carried!
andy_l 14
Now you have a story to tell at parties.
starryxeyes 2
152- My guess is that he/she was talking to 52, who asked why 6 was being thumbed down. And as for 1, ew.. I doubt I could even joke about eating that, just the mere thought makes me want to gag. That's just me though, I don’t likely just me- I don’t like any type of bug or insect, including everything from ants to butterflies :/
tori42995 0
ew
uridea 14
lol 146 that was awesome
MrTittySprinkles 7
It's your own bad for eating that shit in the first place.
Exeedingmango 0
I didn't know flies melted in the microwave.. Hmm.. >:D
AceShots95 0
-10? i thought it was funny..haha
SirObvious 1
Everyone knows hot pockets don't have taste. There simply made just to burn the inside of your mouth. The ideal equivalent to eating lava or licking a stove.
philitron128 0
What is wrong with you?
ugottaluvme 0
Until she/he drops a douse then the fly will be incthe ground where it should be.
mandihbew 0
264- only if you don't wait 5 minutes to cool like the package tells you... But who does that, right? :D
saIty 17
I wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.
orangeduck 6
I bid $20.1 and Boner's possum.
flockz 20
i bid jesus. not the religous one, im talking about my one legged day laborer.
Glambert_lover 5
I hope being sarcastic!
tylersign 11
Probably for quite a bit, as long as it looks like Oprah.
HelloNoora1 0
when I read it the first time I thought it said "my fly was down" and I was like how did that happen.
ktateprado 0
That's a good idea for a new hot pocket!
idancewithrev 0
mmmmmm protien....
_Oblivion_ 12
all of u r beat, im bidding $45, a used condom and a chocolate chip cookie.
SoccerRebel594 0
I think I'll bid $25, my one-legged Ethiopian, a half used roll of toilet paper, and a pencil.
JayBear14 11
Dead pocket.....
idancewithrev 0
I would bid a narwhal...I win.
sheethapins 13
I bid $26.46, a happy meal with the toy still in it, a piece of my dad's belly button lint, and a statue of Einstein's head composed of chewed up bubble gum.
Bowser6622 5
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
Softballchhickk 11
haha right?
slushpup9696 12
I'll raise it to 44 dollars and a small bucket of rice.
uncleyuggles 0
I'm bidding 70 and my 3rd teste
randomthingstv 5
I bid an unborn live albino fetus baby
tnlander 20
Fresher meat than what's inside the hot pocket and at least you can identify what animal it is.
genesisnirvana 11
Natural ingredients
Iamnotmyself 17
If you consider natural: steroid over fed fat animals, sure.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Thats not natural? Strange, I was told otherwise.
ktateprado 0
It says on the back of the box that they are made out of "steroid beef, Swedish cheese, peppered pepparoni, bread imported from china, flies, and cum."
Iamnotmyself 17
Me too, but those damn liberals think it's "inhumane" But that is most American in a nutshell. Tsk Tsk.
KiddNYC1O 22
All those diseases flies carry... No thank you.
nevergo 10
Hey that fly is a natural ingredient. I don't know what you're talking about haha
WellThatSucksMaj 0
Added protein !
thekillfactor 0
What's wrong with liberals?
Iamnotmyself 17
-170 They be ruining the country! Lol I'm mostly liberal in my beliefs.
GirlEatsBoy26 0
True that!
Michael_Kelso 0
It was just trying to save op from diarrhea.
J0gby 0
I send the pestilence and the plague into your house, into your bed, into your streams, into your streets, into your drinks, into YOUR BREAD!
roflcopter423 0
YDI for eating a poptart that was dunked in the toilet and filled with nasty cheese.
kevsnev 7
I like hot pockets.
vegan_muffin 5
Bet you anything there's already flies in hot pockets.
aliceisbored 11
I hope you didn't find out too late...
Soloman212 28
Yeah, OP peered into his stomach and noticed the fly plastered onto the chewed and half-digested bits of hot pocket.
BooGhosted 0
Normally I don't laugh on FML but you made my day sir.
ktateprado 0
^ probably because you are an ass.
takanuva0123 0
Poor fly.
ktateprado 0
YDI for not paying enough attention, thus roasting the flies innards until it breathed a sigh of death, it's wings stopped beating and then melted upon the thing that is the only thing it wanted in the first place. You sick bastard.
CuteGinger 2
Today, I was flying and sighted a delicious hot pocket, which I proceeded to land on. Then, a massive being stuck me in a rotating chamber of heat, and I melted. FML
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
More protien :)
ktateprado 0
More guts. :D
uncleyuggles 0
More cowbell?
asianpandabear 0
I wonder what the fly was thinking as it was starting to boil it's blood and begin melting
FuniiBunii 0
Fly: "oh it feels hot =) I always wanted 2 get tan ;) Omg a lil 2 hot .... after 10 min ... ""*silence @
xgirlofglassx 4
You sound very educated, FuniiBunii.
Soloman212 28
You microwave your food for 10 MINUTES?! Holy crap...
genesisnirvana 11
Oh shit I'm melting.
anencephalic 14
I don't believe flies, except anthropomorphised ones, actually have enough cognitive capacity to be able to think.
skyorpia101 4
I love how u say oh shit I'm melting when ur pro. Pic. Says im chill :|
sheethapins 13
Fly's final thoughts: FML
KiddNYC1O 22
Hot pockets only require 2 mins, give or take, to cook!
_Oblivion_ 12
evedently 2 mins is enough to engrave the remanense of a fly into a nicely cooked hot pocket. now i want one, dammit
FiestaInMyPants 8
100 - According to Jason Mraz, 48 tried to be chill, but you were so hot that (s)he melted.
Fail_05 0
Its Lit Up Blue Where It Say Im chILL Meaning Hes Badass -___- God Damn your An Idiot
adamcichuttek 2
It looks like you're the idiot.
Brock13598 0
Today, I was melted while attempting to eat a frozen hot pocket. FML
ImDB8 0
Just pick it out, it'll be fine
Mysanitywins 10
That's not the point OP was making.
Epsilonyx 15
Sounds like a great addition to the brand. "Bits of wing in every bite! HOOOT POCKET~"
guckylynn 19
All those types of food have a bit of insect in them anyway.
Iamnotmyself 17
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
Yung23 0
That sucks hot pockets are dam good!!
Moota 9
While you keep on believing that hot pockets are 'dam good' in about 5 years you'll wake up with 100 extra pounds on you, maybe even more than that. That sure is 'dam good'
elmogoezRAWR 0
Wow, with the Daria picture, that sentence was all the more cool. WOOT.
Yung23 0
Highly doubt that I'll happen to me but ok keyboard warrior thanks for the info;)