Today, my dad brought the double barrel shotgun to my room, gave me his hat and said, "It's all about survival now. At any cost, Coral." He keeps calling me Coral. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad told me, in the form of a soliloquy, to have a better attitude about death and dying. I have terminal cancer. FML
Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
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Top comments
Tom Adamski 2
Not Coral; Carl. It's a Walking Dead reference
RichardPencil 32
Listen, Coral, in the apocalypse, we all get new names, Coral. By the way, in the new world order, Coral is the Karen of the old order. Sorry, Coral.
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Comments (6)
Tom Adamski 2
Not Coral; Carl. It's a Walking Dead reference
jbuckets_404 39
Ok, so what does that mean in Walking Dead, Carl?
Elizabeth Burley 22
Its because of Ricks southern accent. It sounds like he is saying Coral instead of Carl. That's the joke. Hope that clears it Up. I'm kind of a super fan of the show lol So I loved this FML
MyNameIsPorter 23
Carl is the name of Rick's son, the main character. Rick is played by a British guy and is supposed to be portrayed with a southern accent. When Rick's actor calls out for his son, it sounds like 'Coral' and became a meme.
rgkkk 17
Coral. It's a TWD meme reference, not the series itself
RichardPencil 32
Listen, Coral, in the apocalypse, we all get new names, Coral. By the way, in the new world order, Coral is the Karen of the old order. Sorry, Coral.
AmbrosiaFan 19
I like your dad.
Itsheragain 9
was he sober ?
WistayShlaio82 13
You dad has been drunk since 2015 huh