Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML
Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Today, my mom is in hysterics, all because I told her I don't want to get married or have kids, and I'm not interested in dating anyone. I'm 16. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been experiencing hair loss. He insisted on a pregnancy test. My parents then grounded me. I'm a virgin. FML
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Top comments
MrLaryRottweila 1
only in walmart..
hnz 13
I think she is the one who needs a pregnancy test. indirectly asking you to ge it for her.
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Comments (81)
lacrossekid 0
call me ;)
savvy_suzy 0
It would have been worth it to take the test to prove you are not pregnant, insist to be taken to a doctor to prove your virginity, look the old bat in the eye and in a very low tone demand an apology. You could then say that any more slander will be documented and kept on file. :)
muchagente 5
as any good christian knows, being a virgin doesn't prevent you from getting pregnant. so right she was.
jbsington 8
^win
Jizwold 0
hey we aren't all ******* retard- oh the jesus thing ok never mind
koolkat27 13
Im not sure if you're being serious or just trollin us.
ulicksam 0
You're obviously leaving out something that happened before she said that, probably something that shows YDI or you wouldn't have left it out. So, YDI.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Not necessarily. Way to jump to conclusions. God, the grandma might have just added to her grocery list out loud, saying "and we need one of these...", OP might have asked why, and the argument quickly followed.
perdix 31
Just because it's been three years since a guy would be seen in public with you doesn't mean you haven't been casually ******* since then. Grandma thinks you are and is living vicariously through you. What do you care if Grandma pays for it? Are you afraid that you might find out you have kidney stones?
saleha97 4
She said she was still a virgin.
premiermois 5
25 understanding the nature of perdix FAIL
caguilar21 0
25 Anything Perdix, DocBastard or that Family Guy guy say is pure gold. Argue with it, and you will be immediately flamed. got it? good.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yeah my grandparents think I'm a ***** too. They're not exactly wrong, mind you, but still.
lillypilly35 0
well you did say your a bit of a manwhore...
ashleeyka 13
Maybe it just looks like you gained weight :/
newjerseyguy 0
grandma wants great grand kids
DocBastard 40
You should buy one, find a pregnant woman to pee on the stick, and show it to your grandmother. The ensuing heart attack should prevent any more public outbursts like this in the future. You're welcome.
thejacl 0
well it's clearly because you dress and act the part... just sayin
5t3ff1k4h 47
Have you personally met OP?
thejacl 0
yeah we're actually going golfing next weekend. I don't mean to generalize but unfortunately pop culture has instilled this idea into teenager's heads that they should dress, look and act a certain way and it just so happens to be skanky the majority of the time. Not that this is any different from any other era but it keeps getting worse as time goes on.