Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because, "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
Today, my mother-in-law insisted we go to a baby clothing store. When I reminded her that I don’t want children, she sat on the floor, crying, kicking and screaming. She then said I was denying her grandchildren because I hate her. Well, I didn’t… FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML
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Top comments
igive 29
Tell her that if you smell, you won't find a man. If you can't find a man, you can't give her grandbabies.
MDoremis 38
I can't even comprehend the thought process behind that...
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Comments (60)
Xander1998 16
Some peoples grams man...they be crazy. And FIRST
weedle99 23
Wtf?
HerMischief 21
Who says your going to have kids at all and that you're not child free? She acts like your opinion doesn't matter. Women aren't obligated to have children. You're not a baby making machine.
Nessco 36
Yeah, she may some issues there. Been using shower gel for years and got pregnant twice (whilst on the pill) and using shower gel. Kids are really healthy. Definitely no infertility from shower gel.
xxlittlemsanime 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's awkward. Imagine a grandma going through ways your ****** tears from soap.
igive 29
Tell her that if you smell, you won't find a man. If you can't find a man, you can't give her grandbabies.
thawny_fml 21
I hope you got it any way. You are your own gel needing person.
A07 48
How exactly does it injure ones "lady parts"?
ahippienamedrae 10
A uti maybe?
justdiebitches 19
Well if you put soap there, you kill the bacteria, which can be harmful. Just like the bacteria in your stomach, they're necessary to keep you healthy :)
A07 48
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So women don't clean their vaginas? Isn't that supposed to be unhygienic?
MDoremis 38
You're supposed to clean around your vag, not inside it since it's a self cleaning organ.
aloha_oe 24
#31 there are special soaps for the lady parts.
A07 48
Ohh gotcha, learning something new everyday
a1_z9 10
Some ladies clean inside their vaginas, its called douching. It's widely regarded as not a good idea.
Keiraquarium 12
And you don't even need soap to clean around the ****** really. Some good warm water will do.
classicsparkles 17
31, It's an FML because her grandmother was being absolutely ridiculous. If cleaning female genitalia lead to infertility this wouldn't be the first time you'd be hearing it.
tylercarolinex 21
Bacterial vaginosis is caused by using fragranced soaps on that area, which is how it damages it
MDoremis 38
I can't even comprehend the thought process behind that...
Pstraka6 20
Talk about awkward moment, I just hope you corrected her judgement of what hurts ones "ladys parts". Grandma almost always knows best, but in this case I'm not so sure
NthDakotaBeaches 12
Depending on how old she is I wouldn't put too much blame on her. My grandmother is also very paranoid about health and thinks everything is so dangerous nowadays. Maybe ask her to be a little more respectful and not make a scene next time.
kewpiesuicide 29
My grandma believed that if you took a shower while you were on your period that you would get terrible cramps
DevilsMetsGiants 30
Looks like granny's going senile