Anonymous
Egypt
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
jrad
United States
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
AgathedeBlouse
France
Good boy
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
phillyfan4life
United States
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Anonymous
Colorado Springs, United States
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Anonymous
London, United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Anonymous
Denmark
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
anonamous
United States
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Annie
Mexico
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Crystal_Nicole
Wichita, United States
Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
SHIT-BREATH
Chepstow, United Kingdom
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Top comments
41srsh 0
how sad!
m2j 1
aww
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Comments (235)
m2j 1
aww
muhaidib 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
more like eww
denbeste 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Necrophile? Flame me. This was worth it.
MyDogTastesBad 0
Did you eat it afterwards?
babyale760 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Kiss of Death. maybe? lol ¯_(ツ)_/¯ RIP OP's dog
kofinater 3
This one is just depressing. Not as funny as I usually come for, a true fml, sorry for your loss op.
WeezyBites 6
I Know it shouldn't have but #56's comment, picture and name made me burst into laughter.
punkrocker250 0
shut up dog haters and it's not ewww it is aww because op loved the dog unlike you guys
The_Moustache 6
56- Did you make that account solely for this post?
ancora 1
I'm sad that your dog died, but I hope that his death was peaceful. It's hard not to have time to say good bye.
blooglekoogle 0
ohmigosh I would cry so hard if I woke up an my dog was dead. I would be soooo upset,
panicbunny 0
I lmfao!!
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
This is depressing. I'm sorry for your lost. At least all dogs go to heaven.
41srsh 0
how sad!
KayBizz 0
how traumatic! D:
xSundae 6
How depressing!
RedPillSucks 33
How sadly depressing.
ohmygaaawsh29 0
:(
PuppiesFTW 5
D:
oldenuff2party 3
gnarly
BauerMegan 31
What is wrong with you?
theten_fml 9
lol! sorry about your dog
at1325 0
how do you "lol" and then try to say sorry about someones loss? your a ******* miserable piece of shit. I hope someone laughs whenever you suffer.
iCrazie 0
he could of been lol-ing at the kissed a dead dog. stop being such a bitch.
Battledog5006 0
stop being a bitch you fat asswipe
knibbsy 4
at1325, you're an asshole. Your name must mean your current weight is at 1325 pounds. Good going, slim.
ABANDONFATEREMEM 0
:p
Sammansix 3
Can you shut the **** up! Who gives a shit if he said LOL stop being on FML 24 hours a day and get a life you ugly piece of shit!
iNekoGamergurl 0
your here, too..
knibbsy 4
To whomever moderated my comment but not the other offensive comments on this thread - I am emailing support at fmylife.com in order to talk with one of your superiors about your desire to remove my comment yet keep other comments which are equally, if not more, offensive than mine. This has been an unfortunate trend recently, due to a seeming misuse of authority, which I will bring to the attention of a higher-up. Good day.
Sirin_fml 47
Don't mind if I have a good laugh too, thanks for making such a great start to my day, Knibbs, you're a real funny man, real ******* funny.
knibbsy 4
Yeah well, this site sucks balls anyway. Go ahead and ban me, assholes.
Keyman1212 14
Hey Alan, I hope you were serious about your hair falling out, and subsequently having cancer because if not, that is very sad that you would stoop so low; I had cancer and lost my hair, and it wasn't something I wanted people to make jokes about...
Sirin_fml 47
Quit trollin', son.
Keyman1212 14
Sorry, I don't troll. I was being serious.
Zmeilerr 22
No, you're trolling. Shut the **** up.
william818 0
win
ILUVMSC 5
wow, what's up ur butt?
lovexbox 8
That really sucks.
adtr4ever 6
your really pretty:)
adtr4ever 6
your really pretty:)
I_R_Genius 3
You're really a creeper, hope you don't explode and kill me with your load of gunpowder.
jordan_may 0
minecraft reference
alfredrog 0
yeah :/ sorry for ur lost OP, hopefully ur dog it's in a better place now
hnz 13
sorry to hear this op. At least he knows that you love him before he left
stacster 0
pretty sure it was dead before she kissed it, unless her breath was that bad…
ImaginaryFoe 1
You couldn't tell he was dead when you touched him? Irrelevant, I know, but I am just curious as to how you didn't realise until after the kiss. Sorry for your loss. The death of a pet is difficult and awkward. FYL
FYLDeep 26
It was probably obvious after the kiss though. You know there's something wrong if there's no wet nose.
catatonicsleep 17
Dogs noses are dry when they're asleep...
SeasonedLemur 5
Why do dogs have wet noses?
catatonicsleep 17
It helps them pick up smells better
Rusty325 4
Nah it shows there healthy, bit like the colour of peoples cheeks §
catjames 0
nerrddddd
port5 0
oh, now you tell me, i touched my dogs nose feeling for wetness thinking she was awake, it was dry
balenciagaaaaa 0
sometimes, things become such a habit to your everyday routine, you wouldn't realize your dog is gone.. my dog passed away 2 months ago and still I go to the laundry room to let him out occasionally forgetting he is gone
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow, your breath must really stink! A couple of Tic-Tacs and the dog would still be with us. What a shame.
DenisV95 2
Wow.
Fuqtastic 0
just wow.
Keyman1212 14
Perdix, this is the only time I have found your normally offensively funny humor to be out of taste.
hachoo 0
just stop.
ImSoBaKed 0
Well I found it funny...
GeneGenie 0
Wow what a douche.
port5 0
I am saddened by your F---ed up comment, what happened to the mature you.
ceeejjjj 0
ur a dick
SassiestLemon 2
I completely agree with 55
BigBagel 0
no this one seems ok. as for the op, ydi for kissing dogs
Carlie_McCartney 1
**** you, numbers 8 & 185. You aren't funny. OP, I'mso sorry for your loss. I know that I won't be able to handle any pets' death, :(
xxmollyxx 25
:(
labanana_fml 5
wow, that sucks....