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myself Seaside, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

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Top comments

ManInTheMachine 20

If it's yours, I think you should be more ashamed of the fact that your condom can fit on a 2 year old's finger. If it's your husbands, then, well. . .

Nabee143 3

Yea I'm going to say YDI for the simple fact you shouldn't leave used condoms just laying around. Disgusting!

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Comments (148)

lukemack 4

That is embarrassing and awkward

rsunshine2020 13

Yes but at least he doesn't know what it is... Ignorance is bliss

DrDilllonReese 12

And at least his finger is protected

whyusofat 17

Now op was it your used condom?

ProfessionalTrol_fml 14

Hopefully, he didn't try to lick it

Boygenius50 8

Doesn't matter had sex.

MagicGiraffe 12

That's a pretty small size to fit on a 2 year old's finger like that...

Futacy 30

A lot of questions... lets start with WHY DID YOU LEAVE A USED CONDOM LYING AROUND THE HOUSE?

mockingjaygirl16 8

Its semen that you have a problem....

Futacy 30

^ horrible pun

Nabee143 3

Yea I'm going to say YDI for the simple fact you shouldn't leave used condoms just laying around. Disgusting!

boxbrandon11 20

Or unused condums...

yuzuhere 21

It might not be OP's...

walmartpaysme 15

Even if it isn't OP, where was the two year-old that they were able to find a used condom? If they were at a friends house OP's kid shouldn't be wandering around the house unsupervised.

LittleGreenPaola 23

Agree. It could also be dangerous for a two year old, I know it's disgusting but they put everything in their mouth.

gracehi 33

How do you know he didn't find it in a playground or a park or at the beach? People do some freaky shit. It's not necessarily OP's fault.

dressedskeleton 10

9) OP said the condom was used

walmartpaysme 15

40, they were just saying that unused condoms aren't safe for kids either.

Rynow 7

that's as dirty as fingering your sister and finding your dads wedding ring!

OceanNut4 4

54 that's just nasty(Cleveland voice)

DocBastard 40

Rynow - Goddammit, I need to go wash my brain with bleach after reading that.

onlychildFTW 34

This really is disgusting. OP needs to disinfect that finger many times. Yuck.

Rynow 7

Im just saying.. as far as dirty situations go, its up there.

MDTeddy 13

I want to know why people don't throw them in a trashcan.

walmartpaysme 15

75 - you obviously don't have kids.

lovelyspyder 7

54 - Stop trying to sound shocking, idiot.

dressedskeleton 10

Ohh- haha sorry about that, thanks 45

gashing 2

Hahaha thaz sum funny shitbro!

ripjohnlennon 5

Maybe it was in a bathroom trash can. Those things are easy to get into.

ManInTheMachine 20

If it's yours, I think you should be more ashamed of the fact that your condom can fit on a 2 year old's finger. If it's your husbands, then, well. . .

Nutz101 7

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

But wouldnt it be both of theirs since they would have used that condom?

andiewithlove 21

We are unaware whether OP is male or female.

liftedyoda 5

It will make a good story when he is a little older

dressedskeleton 10

Not for the kid who finds out he touched his parent's used condoms!

thebirdman5091 1

I can just see an FML like this in about a decade or so: Today I learned that my beloved childhood "finger puppet" was actually one of my parents' used condoms. FML

florido_fml 10

It's more of a penis puppet

DocBastard 40

Watch out - the condom may throw up before you do.

sarah6786 14

Ydi for not watching your son while he picked through the trash.

PeteyPablo12308 20

You know, even the really good parents are going to have moments where they don't see exactly what their child is doing.

DocBastard 40

It's not impossible to watch a 2-year old all the time, but it's damn near close. They get into all kinds of disgusting stuff - my 18-month old son loves splashing in the little white porcelain pool.

reapy 14

I agree with Doc, if I take my eye off my 2 year old for a second she eats the cat biscuits. It's easy to tell people to constantly supervise a small child, but you'll only know how difficult that is if you have one yourself.

sarah6786 14

70-I have two children. A two year old daughter and an eight week old son. It is easy to keep them out of trash by closing the bathroom door IF the bathroom was where he got it from. They also sell door knob covers that are childproof since a 2 year old can open and close doors easily. I'm not saying they will never ever get into things, but there are preventative measure that can be taken.

ThatsANiceAss 4

So if they were watching the child pick through the trash, it would be okay?

ant1078 7

maybe you should think of ditching the "finger puppet" and make junior a baby brother or sister that they can actually play with. ;)

Nabee143 3

8 Now there's a great idea! Then there would be no need or reason for bringing condoms in the house at all. Perfect solution! Now, go start f'ing and get that baby sister/brother on the way! ☺

kFrizzleee 1

Lmao! XD

HeyArnold91 8

The question is whose used condom was it? And why was it not thrown away?

chellyX92 8

It probably was and the kid picked trough the trash.

RedSnuwolf 4

Oh God, why •___•