Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I went to pick up my laundry from the communal machines in my apartment building. When I got there, all my clothes were neatly folded on top of the dryer. I was impressed, until I realized half of the pile wasn’t mine. I'd been carrying someone else’s underwear up to my apartment. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML
Today, I took my laundry out of the washing machine and noticed one of my socks was missing. I checked the drum, the floor, and the laundry basket. I eventually found it inside the sleeve of the hoodie I'd been wearing while loading the machine. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML
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Top comments
Sagar Nair 12
Do you live alone? Used condoms just don’t come put of nowhere.
Friesian 7
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Nope, it’s just the joke going waaaay over your head.
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Comments (12)
Sagar Nair 12
Do you live alone? Used condoms just don’t come put of nowhere.
RichardPencil 32
You’re gonna need to re-wash those sheets in bleach, otherwise you might get pregnant from sleeping on them.
ViviMage 40
You realize sperm can't live outside the body? And millions die just from the harsh environment from the business ends of our bits being acidic? Chances are, time, detergents, hot water, and drying cycle killed them off. As well as most bacteria. Herpes can't live through the dryer either. I would for the sake of mind myself, but not because I'd get pregnant.
amanda86 8
You realize he's not serious right?
Friesian 7
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Nope, it’s just the joke going waaaay over your head.
fearrhyno1 18
I guess even your laundry can't be safe in the place they are the safest.
davecross 11
If you have your own washing machine and dryer then you need to talk with your man or women If you share you laundry room with other people then I would assume it was someone else's unless another one turns up But either way I would re wash your clothes
Lobby_Bee 18
I suppose you forgot about that night when you got shit faced and slept with a beautiful stranger.
Sinshine 28
This needs so much more information. Do you live alone and don't know where it came from? Do you live with a partner and think they cheated on you? Do you share the waiting machine with someone?
jfsiv 17
A little bit of lube, and you got a free condom! And as a bonus, it's one of them fancy ribbed ones!
Inkoseh 33
Pasadena? Is this a spoiler for an episode of Big Bang Theory that hasn't come out yet?
Mogie1420 2
On the bright side, your sheets were practicing safe laundry habits. Great job raising them right!