Today, my biggest form of entertainment of the week was when I read a blunt, scathing, brutally honest review of an absolutely horrible book I read a few days ago. I need a life. And better books. And friends with better tastes in books. And a bonfire to toss this book into. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
Today, I realized that my social life is so dead that the only thing I do that involves other people is read FML. I don't even participate in the comments. FML
Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML
Today, I tried to impress coworkers by saying I “don’t really watch TV” because I mostly read books. Unfortunately, someone immediately asked what I’d been reading lately, and the only honest answer was celebrity memoirs and conspiracy theory forum posts online at 2 a.m. FML
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
Today, my friend needed to talk out bad feelings. Then she urged me to open up as well. I hate doing it, but it only seemed fair, so I confessed my deep insecurities. Not only did she agree with everything, but she also helpfully added that I'm boring, have no life, and all my dreams are unattainable. FML
Today, what did I get after a long, tiring week? A long, depressing weekend. FML
Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML
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Top comments
Samson 1
“And a bonfire into which I can toss this book.” There, fixed it for you 😂🤣
Chazzster 32
Usually if I don’t like a book, I know it way before I finish it. If it’s bad enough I don’t finish it so I don’t waste time not enjoying it… Books, movies, videos are always a matter of personal taste. Yes, there are some genuinely bad ones and great ones out there. But in most cases, just because your friends or family like a book isn’t necessarily an indication of if you will like it… When I am picking out a book I read the cover to see if it seems interesting and then flip it open randomly to 2 or 3 places and read a paragraph to see if I like the author’s style. That seldom fails for me…
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
You couldn't tell us what book so we wouldn't waste our time? Thanks, Chief! I just listened to the unabridged audiobook of "Local Woman Missing." It was quite entertaining until it ended abruptly with too many loose ends and some really implausible bullshit.
Samson 1
“And a bonfire into which I can toss this book.” There, fixed it for you 😂🤣
Chazzster 32
Usually if I don’t like a book, I know it way before I finish it. If it’s bad enough I don’t finish it so I don’t waste time not enjoying it… Books, movies, videos are always a matter of personal taste. Yes, there are some genuinely bad ones and great ones out there. But in most cases, just because your friends or family like a book isn’t necessarily an indication of if you will like it… When I am picking out a book I read the cover to see if it seems interesting and then flip it open randomly to 2 or 3 places and read a paragraph to see if I like the author’s style. That seldom fails for me…