Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, I started my week-long girlscation with two of my childhood friends. So far, one hasn't stopped burping, farting, or talking about "needing dick", and the other can't stop trying to one up everyone else in the car. Day one out of five. Sigh. FML
Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML
Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
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Top comments
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Seriously? How old is he/she? Seriously?
Docbee 11
How old will a 16 year old girl be? Depends how much she's been used... ._.
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Comments (72)
alex_gen 39
I get that that language is incredibly "ratchet," but you guys need to remember the difference between "swag" and "swagger". One was created by Shakespeare to declare a person's attitude and personality, in a more or so confident and arrogant way. That means to be 'cool'. The other is created by hipsters to show that they have declined in life to point of being considered a 'tool', and therefore consistently follows the life of "You Only Live Once, so kill yourself now." Can you guess which one's which?
jojobear10 5
raunchy? u mean rachet?
jw90 18
Is she a moron?
littlemonster94 15
I am so drunk. Unicorns.
starile 20
Please read the FML rules before commenting. You may find your completely irrelevant comment moderated or buried before you sober up.
SMHsohard 22
Interesting how the more things change, the more they stay the same. My parents would go all cray-cray on me if I used legit slang like "groovy"or "far-out".They thought it was raunchy.
JBrownie123 24
At least raunchy is an actual word though... And at least "like" is one of those words you use when you're thinking of something else to say, in place of "erm". But yeah, she's probably got to be put in a cage with some Shakespeare books and a dictionary.
blackonblight 33
Oh don't give her any of Billy S. that stuff is filthy! Also plays aren't the best for casual reading, drop something more likely to shut her up. I suggest Frank Herbert's Dune, or The Mists of Avalon or if you're really nice give the kid Discworld, Terry Pratchett will set her straight in no time.
sandy105 3
Throw a dictionary at her head
harrypotter4evur 15
Wtf is raunchy?
Brownie101abc 7
My sister is the same way! Grrr I hate it. I'm never like that
rec_chem 22
Cray cray? Really? I've never even heard that one lol