Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Girls on tour
Today, I started my week-long girlscation with two of my childhood friends. So far, one hasn't stopped burping, farting, or talking about "needing dick", and the other can't stop trying to one up everyone else in the car. Day one out of five. Sigh. FML
Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML
First crush
Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Top comments
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Seriously? How old is he/she? Seriously?
Docbee 11
How old will a 16 year old girl be? Depends how much she's been used... ._.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (72)
gameover18 17
we Americans are sorry for what we have the done to the worlds youth.
MEM0817 18
How are the Americans responsible for the whole worlds youth declining?
perdix 31
Today, I went to visit, like, my cousins in Canada and they legit said "eh" and "aboot", like, a cray-cray number of times. And, I'm all, like, FML.
TheDrifter 24
Eh! Don't you make jokes aboot us ye freaking hoser.
perdix 31
#78, calm down, hockey season is aboot to begin. I know you guys get testy when there's no hockey to watch.
TheDrifter 24
Good thing too, I'm aboot half crazy to start with. Football's good and all, but this summer sun is freaking hot. Another month and I'd bloody melt eh?
perdix 31
#84, yeah, but I moved and used to live 5 minutes from where the Florida Panthers played. The good thing about having the worst team in the league is getting cheap tickets was easy. They didn't have a good record, but they have some great Canadian players like Brian Campbell and Jonathan Huberdeau.
caden_bro 9
Two questions: is she blonde, and does she wear uggs?
skyeyez9 25
I hate all these new made up words. And when people use them, it makes them sound retarded.
TheDrifter 24
I think they are. You see, my generation liked the 80s a little too much. You know, sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. Well, it seems our penchant for copious amounts of cocaine, cheap whiskey and cheaper women has had some lasting mental detriment to the offspring we accidentally produced, and it's being magnified in their offspring.
GlitterScribbles 9
Funny though, raunchy is a real word. Has been for a while. And "legit" is just a shorter form of "legitimate."
MikaykayUnicorn 36
I say 'like' (and also 'um') when I don't know what to say. It's a habit. Maybe that's just a habit she has & doesn't realise she's doing it.
allplayedout 20
Well, some of those are real words
worldclassrager 41
You got a chatterbox there...and one that seems to be a bit of a bother..z
ohSNAPyall 27
Are you sure she said "raunchy," not "ratchet"?
AestheticSynthia 7
lol its the teen slang , these Days :p
Obey_StudBoii 23
I would honestly be annoyed.