Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
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Top comments
thesmeagol 22
Two words, Duct tape.
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" "Hell no. She's cray-cray!!"
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Comments (172)
cassiecassie559 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Take back the ring and say, "I'm not cray-cray, but this isn't going to work"
Garrison21 11
More like back hand the shit out of her if she says cray-cray again
creedfish 21
"That's the way she goes"
incoherentrmblr 22
Finally, someone using the proper female indication of being engaged. If I were to see another man refer his soon to be wife as their fiancé, I'd go cray-cray...
Axipiter 24
I'm probably just being a shit disturber by saying this, but nowadays it's perfectly acceptable for men to have a fiancé... So I'm just going to assume that's what's meant whenever I see that.
DocBastard 40
Axipiter - technically "fiancé" refers to a man, and "fiancée" refers to a woman.
askullnamedbilly 33
Also, you might try to use the proper female indicator as well, #63. OP is not 'another man', she's female.
hope27 15
#75 he meant that it's perfectly acceptable for a man to marry another man, so it would be fiancé.
zZLightZz 13
no one like someone who act cray cray
DocBastard 40
#79 - Right you are. I misread it. The jury will disregard that last statement.
bfsd42 20
All y'all, op is female, so is her fiancée.
Axipiter 24
I apologize for replying to this threadjack. I just noticed myself that OP is female. Still, it's perfectly acceptable for a female to have a fiancée. I was just trying to correct any misjudgements that were being made.
vintage_doll_89 8
Just because the public becomes so lazy that they stop using words properly, doesn't make it "acceptable" to those intelligent enough to know the difference.. It makes those who accept it part of the problem. It's not a big deal now, but little things are what lead to everyone just... getting dumber.
Curlytwirly22 17
Nice one lmao
Ilmoran 20
108, it being acceptable has nothing to do with being lazy. If two women are getting married to each other, are you going to call one the fiancé and the other the fiancée?
DivinePrince 18
She's gay. A woman, and her fiance is a woman. Get your terms right lolol. Op is not a man. OP is a woman.
Ilmoran 20
No, her fiancée is a woman. Fiancée refers to a woman who is getting married, not who a man is marrying. So for two women getting married, they are both fiancées.
cryssycakesx3 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that shit cray...
colby6666 43
super cray
evan4guitar 16
That shit is super cray cray
blondeamazonian 18
All this cray cray talk is driving me cray cray.
iLike2Teabag 27
Ain't it, Jay?
wildsweetchild 19
ok...enough ppl...not funny anymore.
OysterPearls 33
What she order? Fish fillet.
cryssycakesx3 23
whenever my friends use stupid, annoying slang words as such, I say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, what is a 'cray?" just to be a little cunty.
ECHOSPiiKES 19
Cunty? thats new
91hayek 31
haha cryssy repping the 'cunty'! Turning female genitalia into an adjective; 'STRAYA!
EmperorChowilio 21
that whip so cold?
iLike2Teabag 27
This old thing?
thesmeagol 22
Two words, Duct tape.
botanistjessica 24
My cousin is only two years younger than me, but I want to duct tape the shit out of her. She shortens like every word. I can barely understand her when she's talking. She seemed astounded that I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. But I don't use "cray", "presh", etc in my everyday vernacular.
TheCrispyCat 20
presh?
conaidws 7
Impression...presh.. hellifiknow
OochenSnoochen 15
If you grabbed her by both shoulders and said vernacular to her enough times she could very well literally explode.
Animekid126 13
Presh means precious.
that_band_nerd 22
You people seem smart in the ways of teen-talk so can you help me? What does totes mgotes (magotes?) mean? Totally what?
Dide9872 19
Totes = totally
Dide9872 19
I don't know about mgotes
reneetlovesyou 30
From what I understand, it came from a commercial (but don't quote me on that because I don't want TV). My friend says it throughout class all the time. It's just a word to rhyme with totes (totally). Like "silly willy".
illegalbeagle69 23
"Slang for totally, used between full grown men in a bro-mantic relationship, to convey their excitement to a suggestion. Made popular by Paul Rudd's character in I Love You, Man. Sydney: Dude, we should rock out sometime. Peter: Totally.... totes my goats. Guy 1: let's go downtown and pick up some hot chicks! Guy 2: Totes my goats!" -Courtesy of SuperBab on Urban Dictionary
NicH1799 20
Early signs of insanity? I think so... run while you still can
reneetlovesyou 30
Insanity is to do the same thing repeatedly and expect different results. OP's fiancée is just going through an annoying phase like everyone does where they think what they're saying is so clever or hilarious. It'll pass soon enough.
eyesak 11
That is not the definition of insanity 1. the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind. 2. such unsoundness of mind as frees one from legal responsibility, as for committing a crime, or as signals one's lack of legal capacity, as for entering into a contractual agreement. 3. (formerly) psychosis.
motorboatingboy 4
147, That is A definition of insanity. Maybe 125 follows Vaas from far cry
feelingold 18
Erm....#147, #152, maybe you're missing that #125 is referencing a very famous Einstein quote.
eyesak 11
I know of the quote but so many people think that is the definition of insanity because of the quote and because of farcry 3
hulopro 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Calm down and just politely ask her to stop because screaming never solved anything.
colby6666 43
She*
kurodansei 16
he*
R3TROxLOV3 32
27, don't know why people are thumbing you down. OP is a female...
zBLAKEz 23
Why do people thumb someone down just for correcting the gender when someone gets it wrong? I don't think the person is correcting them to be an ass. I really think they're just letting them know.
LuckBeNimble 19
who are they correcting, exactly? I don't see any gender mistakes. perhaps they edited their comment...
MAD01502 20
My blood pressure is rising just by reading this.........
mom_of_5 10
Sign number 26 that your fiancée may secretly be a 12 year old girl.
kurodansei 16
Little early in the week for Freaky Friday.
mom_of_5 10
Maybe she was Throwback Thursday-ing to Freaky Friday?
kristopher_0819 6
This story is cray cray
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" "Hell no. She's cray-cray!!"
pwnman 33
But why did he dress up and come to the church? Or wherever he had his wedding location?
Rallred32 20
*she
juliette3219 12
Lmao u shouldn't have lashed out!!
Respect101 17
Really? I would have snapped after the first couple of times. Things that are annoying, well are annoying.