Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, I started my week-long girlscation with two of my childhood friends. So far, one hasn't stopped burping, farting, or talking about "needing dick", and the other can't stop trying to one up everyone else in the car. Day one out of five. Sigh. FML
Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML
Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
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Top comments
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Seriously? How old is he/she? Seriously?
Docbee 11
How old will a 16 year old girl be? Depends how much she's been used... ._.
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Comments (72)
Euronymous93 29
It's too late for help. You need to kill her. I'm sorry it has come to this, OP.
babeababe 16
Turn it into a drinking game. Every time she says one of those words, you take a drink.
AnimeAddict95 20
OP would be completely wasted in an hour!
zaaronj 8
I feel ya
Omniprism 15
She might stop after hanging out with you and heading you and your family talk normal. Maybe use some big words to make her think.
cerberes_fml 3
keep Urban dictionary in your favorites. maybe there's an app to translate her jibberish.
scullbashnash 2
raunchy and legit arnt bad its not like she is saying saw or yolo
seekingasaviour 9
Or carrying on about swag and saying totes to every comment you make.
vffjvsegb 11
That shit cray!
bubble_burst 16
*Facepalm*. I thought us Indians were doing a good job of killing the English language. It seems we weren't doing a good enough job, so the Americans decided to help. I hate it when that happens. (on being proven incompetent).
DawnShadow_fml 5
I apologize for my generation.
holly1398 5
No one even says cray cray anymore