Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML
Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AkeemKN 1
kill him.
WeirdUp 0
looked in the mirror LIKE A BOSS!!!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
xcrystal011 2
hahahahahahahaha lmao!!!!! xD
Degrassi_Girl97 0
lol if I saw that I'd be laughing my ass off:P
smashgrab 0
Keep thinking about this story while you are standing in the unemployment line, I'm sure it will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Jackass. YDI
Lingonberry668 0
I guess it ok that u did that and he saw cuz he was being an ass already and he deserved it :)
lwd305 0
You, my friend, define the word dumbass.
tj79 3
op is an idiot. how do you not see the BIG ASS MIRROR
allmidnighteyes 11
Because a big ass mirror is generally placed around assticular height. And if it's a big one, you only need to check it if you have a badonkadonk.
randall_doak 4
Why yes, as a matter of fact you are retarded.... .................wow.................
fakeaccountX 6
If I saw you, I'd do much more than "pantomiming" stabbing you because you're a dumbass.
iitsbrex3 0
I don't understand how he couldn't have seen his boss looking in the mirror? YDI for being dumb.
planbsponserme 2
i see that they give jobs out to morons nowadays
hatepineapple 14
AHAHAHAHA OP thinks he's a vampire
blocparty 0
D: that sucks bro
TheOptimist 0
So you didn't notice your boss standing still staring straight ahead into the mirror a foot or two in front of him, which would should have been in your line of vision. Unless you were staring up while stabbing him, swearing at him, and giving him the finger. Intelligent.
allmidnighteyes 11
You never know... OP could be a midget.
heyitsdiamond 5
honestly 5th graders do that
CallMeBloo 31
Yeah, you were most likely not intelligent or observant enough to hold that job anyway.
AkeemKN 1
kill him.
SebIsBest 0
lol
GigglePony 13
Finally Mr.3 someone with reasoning on this site!
dfc09 5
What the ****??
eyedefineme 0
Someone should start looking for a new job....
xxcmb3k3xx 21
the boss?
WholeWheatBread 9
Ohhhoohhohooh.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Cool story bro. You shouldve just laughed it off and said you were joking! :P
Iknoweverything 29
You really had to be that stupid? Or that immature? and in the bathroom for heavensake? (By the way, if he was being a jerk because you tried to talk to him in the bathroom, he's well within his rights.) I can't think of any possible way you wouldn't have deserved it!
WeirdUp 0
looked in the mirror LIKE A BOSS!!!!!
Just_Me_143 0
Erm...was that supposed to be funny?
And_Jelly 0
Loooool
WeirdUp 0
ive always hated you
danilols689 11
haha oi I love that song!! it was funny
funktown 2
Really? ....really? Wat did u expect? Every bathroom ever created has a mirror.
yake12 0
outhouses
green_eyes124 0
Actually the school I used to go remodeled the building with the bathrooms in it and when they did the bathrooms the didn't put mirrors in because the girls were doing hair and make up and skipping or super late for class. Kinda sucked lol
funktown 2
yeah 33, cause him and his boss shared a outhouse together..
francisw93 3
haha well said. sick shows btw.
de4ek 0
you mean shoes...
kotabones 0
At least all the bathrooms with indoor plumbing have mirrors lol
sarah56195 0
Not the bathroom at my school.
RedPillSucks 33
That was pretty stupid. How did you not notice the mirror?
jezzibell 0
your boss deserved it for being such an asshole! maybe now he learned a lesson.. nobody like assholes, nobody.
Thale_fml 8
I don't see how that teaches the boss a lesson. He can just fire OP for being a dumbass and insulting him. Oh and FYI: Bosses are not there to be liked and loved. They're there to do a JOB.