Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, I started my week-long girlscation with two of my childhood friends. So far, one hasn't stopped burping, farting, or talking about "needing dick", and the other can't stop trying to one up everyone else in the car. Day one out of five. Sigh. FML
Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML
Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
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Top comments
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Seriously? How old is he/she? Seriously?
Docbee 11
How old will a 16 year old girl be? Depends how much she's been used... ._.
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Comments (72)
ArtinHopar 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Set her straight before its too late. How old is he/she?
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Seriously? How old is he/she? Seriously?
Docbee 11
How old will a 16 year old girl be? Depends how much she's been used... ._.
dinosxxrawr 22
she might be 16, but.. what do I know?
ArtinHopar 16
sorry I forgot if OP wrote I'd it was a boy or girl.
MEM0817 18
If only the third word in this FML gave away how old she is...
FMLkoala 28
#1 she clearly said MY 16 YEAR OLD cousin
ArtinHopar 16
I'm sorry everyone. One of my friends was using my phone and made this comment. I wish i could delete it.
NeatNit 33
Ah yes, the classic 'someone else used my user' excuse. Just admit that you just wanted to be the first post and didn't bother reading the FML properly. Anyway, what the hell is 'raunchy'?!
ArtinHopar 16
Don't believe me. I really dont care. I'm just trying to clear it up. If it makes u feel better, okay, I wrote it.
buckdharma 38
#25- Seems legit.
steffi90 13
I don't know if its the words OP's cousin is using in everyday talk, or the fact that #1 completely disregarded the whole first line of this fml, but i am slowly but surely losing faith in humanity.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
25- Just stop, you're embarrassing yourself
MEM0817 18
People on here haven't learned that if they get thumbed down with their first two comments, there's no coming back from that.
Nordrag 26
48... challenge accepted. jk. I was about to write three comments in a row but then I thought of the anti flood shit and the fact that thats stupid and I wouldnt prove anything... yah. if your comment gets thumbed down and you fail to clear it up in one comment. youre probably ****** for the rest of the thread.
megstiel 16
It's a noun describing something dirty or naughty. A raunchy film could be the movie sex drive.
TheCanucklehead 22
Eh man. Come on. Show some swag and yolo it legitly dog
helpfulwhale 12
Sex drive is a fantastically raunchy movie.
CallMeWindSock 24
89, nouns aren't descriptive, I think you're talking about an adjective.
MegaError101 10
Retard
tannara 12
OP states that she's 16..
Trinidad727 9
someone's learned some new words!
rememberkids 14
Stupid Flanders!
icyhottt 11
New words are the gateway, next she will start to stick her tung out at inappropriate times while trying to turn it up side down, then without intervention she will begin to twerk... It may start with one or two harmless twitches, but you must be very careful because it evolves rapidly and uncontrollably
mFUNdo21 17
kill it with fire before it lays eggs
jrock9093 18
There is stupidity in the world good fml ;)
jerryj 27
Can we please put you in the same category as OP's cousin?
NeighSoulSister 6
Just because OP's cousin says dumb phrases, doesn't make her stupid.
CrissyyyS2 22
I hope she doesn't go YOLO on everything too.
eddeeezzyy 19
....or swag.
rememberkids 14
I hate that word so much....
toneeangel 22
Lets hope she was summing up Miley Cyrus life in a few short words.
jasmine2301 25
Hopefully she didn't start twerking and pointing a red finger pointer everywhere, 86.
Jasmeent11 15
Try and beat her on it, see if she notices you're taking the piss! ;)
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
What...
AnOriginalName 19
#38 it's Australian slang. I think #11 was just saying that OP should sarcastically say those words to see if the cousin knows that she's joking.
TheAbstract 15
I had no idea what they meant by that either and now that I do I think I may start using that slang.
leena24 11
Was it, like, literally uncountable?
NoFlippinWai 24
thats like legit.
Docbee 11
Like, legit?
flockz 20
damn that shit cray.
Missyeru 14
That's like, tots legit cray-cray stuff there OP. Hopefully she's not into the Biebs, of twerking.
FMLkoala 28
What does ranchy even mean?
Jezzikah 11
Disgusting, nasty etc
fmlgiraffe 23
#26 - no it doesn't. #13 - It means vulgar, crude or smutty, in a sexy way.
flockz 20
#26- no, it doesn't. #41- nope. #13- it actually means to be smothered in a creamy white and delicious salad dressing, and then which can be used to dip almost anything in to and make absolutely amazing.
FMLkoala 28
Ok thanks I just hadn't heard the word before
JBrownie123 24
You have won the Internet. That was the final text. Well done #54.
hallix 21
You should, like, legit go cray-cray on her for having a raunchy attitude.
bluehero 17
Like legit, she totes need an attitude adjustment like seriously. Swag
rapunzel3416 28
My sister says these things only to annoy me. She doesn't use them anywhere other than the house.
MEM0817 18
My 8-year-old stepson looked at me last week and said "Megan, you're cray cray" Ohhh wow! It's starting younger and younger! Couldn't help but just laugh. I love the shit kids say sometimes.
horneyhic 15
Stomp that shit out before they forget proper english
MEM0817 18
It's a little difficult considering his mother and father come before my word. He's a good kid though and knows that it's not something to say in public.