Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML
Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flinkpamingo 0
First, you shouldn't be mad at her. HE is the one who dogged you. Secondly, grow up, get a life and realize that anyone who makes you that angry and treats you like that isn't worth the power it takes to squish a bug. What a waste. Go find someone who acctually loves you and wants to be with you. Come on, suck it up and move on, and have a nice day. You deserve better.
Lolbrittany 0
should've egged HIS house/vehicle.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
maximumoverdrive 0
wow you suck
axislave 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP is probably fat and can't get anyone else that's why she's still with her looser, cheating thunder-**** of a boyfriend. If I was the boyfriend I would cheat too as she is still with him, therefor she must not care about the cheating part just about kicking the girls ass. OP you're ******* retarded and are always gonna be cheated on.
adelaide_evening 0
Your logic is right on. If she stays with her cheating boyfriend, she is automatically a dumb, fat bitch who deserves anything that comes to her and to be continuously cheated on.
lunargh 7
#14, 'thundercunt' is a fantastic word, I hope you don't mind if I borrow it in future :P The fact that you'd cheat on her, and that you assume she's fat, makes you a bit of a twat, but unfortunately you're also right in some respects - OP, take out your anger on your boyfriend, stand up for yourself and dump his ass otherwise you're going to spend the rest of your life being treated like dirt.
guitartech18 0
YDI idiot
eliz3 0
You're clearly an idiot if your aim is THAT awful, it's no wonder your boyfriend cheated on you.
iFruit 0
What does OP's weight have to do with any of this? FYL, its not your fault you have bad aim!
the17doctor 12
ofc it's her fault she has bad aim...
Antivirus_fml 0
OP, i hope you die early you *****!
Vintage_Cola 29
Surprised this wasn't moderated.
flinkpamingo 0
First, you shouldn't be angry at her, she didn't cheat on you. Second, grow up. No one who treats you like this is even worth the energy to execute this egging plan. This really shows your immaturity, but you can start over. Part of growing up is not acting like a raving lunatic when you don't get your way or someone offends you. What about this guy makes you think that you don't deserve better? Find someone who wants to care about you. Third, let me tell you honey, if he is like this now, it will only get worse because THIS is as good as it gets. Don't let people push your buttons. Another thing, when a guy has a girlfriend and cheats on her, she leaves. Usually, right? Well the girl he was cheating with moves into the girlfriend spot. This leaves the job of "mistress" if you will, wide open. This is a repeating behavior. Don't waste your time. Do your crying and get on with it. There is someone out there who will love you completely and not treat you badly. After all, why would you hurt someone you love? Makes no sense. Move on. You can do it. No more stupid stuff.
bethechange_fml 0
First, egging a house is a completly stupid way of getting back at someone. I personally wouldnt care if someone egged my house. Second, whats wrong with hitting the driveway? Thats not even bad. Third, its your boyfriends fault more then the girl!!
flinkpamingo 0
Yes I know I repeated! I stuttered! The train to ride my ass about this is about to leave! Grab the hand rails I just installed so you won't fall off!
o_O_0_o 0
you should be mad at your boyfriend. not the girl for cheating on you. and FAIL for missing her car. Only FL people >.>