Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
He's just teaching you by showing you the wrong way.:)
NashyzzleTheN 10
Mama must have been so proud:)
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Comments (144)
lilhellian 27
He's just teaching you by showing you the wrong way.:)
detroitsucks247 3
Wouldnt slashing their tires make it harder for them to move then just asking?
lilhellian 27
I'm assuming that they have asked. But the next action should have taking it to the nearest junk yard and getting paid or calling cops.
dsbs 9
I have the same problem :( I live in a coldesac and my neighbors always park their cars infront of the drive way, not in it. Therefor blocking 1/3 of the coldesac.
lilhellian 27
I'm curious if your city has any laws such as to prevent that can you not find it and report them?
ohSNAPyall 27
1 - Exactly. This would strand the 4x4 in front of OP's house.
DogsPaw 16
34- Depending on where you are... I THINK. That's a safety hazard which could lead to getting towed.
hunteer9 5
If they slashed the tires, and the owners didn't move it after enough time it would get towed. Not that I have that problem, when that happens to me, my friends and I push the car somewhere else.
lilhellian 27
65 True, but most cities do have some sorta law about this. I mean it is Op's private property that guy is putting his car on.
shadowsorel 15
Not necessarily. After slashing their tires, they can probably call a tow truck or sell it to the dump... But that's just cruel. OP- Can't your dad just ASK your neighbors to move the 4x4? Because I'm pretty sure you didn't deserve to go to jail because your father wanted revenge. FYL.
R3TROxLOV3 32
96, but asking doesn't always work. At my old house, my neighbors basically used the front of our house/part of our driveway as their own personal parking garage, and no amount of asking them to stop and/or move their cars would work. Eventually we just started calling the towing company every time they did it, but they still kept doing it up until we moved.
Dman1515 7
So the moral of the story is..... that your not good at standing watch
bandofsand 10
I'm curious about whether you know how to spell 34.
ciumegu 6
Sucks bro hope your dad grows up.
BossPathfinderGM 14
OP is female, "bro".
boating_guy 33
just saying, I call girls and guys alike "dude" and "bro" quite frequently...
onlychildFTW 34
I don't consider that stuff to be gender specific. Most people don't, they use it as a term to refer to guys or girls.
NashyzzleTheN 10
Mama must have been so proud:)
Whistlee 8
So proud to bail her husband and daughter of jail....NAWW
ohcheriecherie 20
OP is obviously terrible at standing watch, if they got arrested. You are no daughter of mine...
MrsDruidess 23
didn't your parents teach you not to cave to peer pressure, just say no and walk away from people doing bad things . . lmao!!
rebel_belle1974 5
like father like son!
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
Too bad she is a girl
rebel_belle1974 5
really? you're sure? cuz #2 said "bro" don't see you ragging on him
Shrike 24
I'm sure that's 'cause he probably gets enough shit already for being a shirtless douche. You, on the other hand, are old enough to know better, unless you lied about your age on your profile.
NashyzzleTheN 10
No, that pink sign is just a decoration. It's not like that's the symbol for females or anything.
gc327072 31
Uh-oh, here comes Shrike bashing on the idiots! Get to cover!
Shrike 24
Sorry, it's just... 37 and not just blind already, but illiterate? Just pisses me off. Plus, my mom is KaySL, so I can't help it. It's hereditary. :(
gc327072 31
It's ok, Shrike, I understand. But one thing I don't understand is how much you comment, but you don't have a picture. It makes you look like one of those fml noobs that would say "I c what u did there LOLOL" or some crap. I find your lack of profile disturbing....
Shrike 24
I could steal some "hot" girl's pic from Facebook and pass it off as my own, if you like. That's a pretty popular move 'round these parts the last couple of years.
unknown_user5566 27
Shrike- A blonde-haired, blue-eyed lady with monstrous chesticles should do the trick.
gc327072 31
Shrike- but if your info is true (which seems the case) you wouldn't be foolin me.
WaSiSimiLang 8
I'm sure everybody already said this, but... 1) op is a girl 2) even if op is a boy, the term "like father like son" is invalid because of the tone "forced" in the story which meant op did not go along with HER father willingly
pawzluver 7
Liking your picture:)
Metallica36176 16
No....they did rag on him...
Athleticism 11
Your username. It shows much appreciation towards your paternal unit.
unknown_user5566 27
Wow, what an insightful observation!
Athleticism 11
Oh my god. Kyleekay just complimented one of my comments.
DocBastard 40
I would get so excited there, smarty pants.
unknown_user5566 27
Glad you caught my drift, Doc.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Ah sarcasm... Like practical jokes, are wasted on the stupid... It can also, however, be trolled back by those who get the drift, yet choose to feign ignorance
unknown_user5566 27
47- I considered the "returned sarcasm" option, until I checked his profile. Although I do feel a teensy bit bad about my snarky comment, considering he likes my comments enough to mention me. Woops.
Grimmerie 31
Kyleekay, that's like feeling bad for breathing. You are the snark. You have /become/ the snark.
daminantion 14
Why are 13 year olds allowed on a site where many of the posts are for adults? At least the ability to post should require 18+ or the maturity of legality..
MedKits 9
Because apparently 13 year olds can't lie about their age to the website when signing up.
NeonPopRocks 14
Aren't they just the s-m-r-t est, Doc?
MrBond007_fml 6
As cool as it is that your dad includes you in his highjinx, it is seriously uncool to mess withe people's cars, there are other ways to take care of a problem. Some things are sacred. Ydi for taking part! Sory I don't know how to spell highjinx.
MrBond007_fml 6
... Or with for that matter
amandajlucas2015 2
Or sorry
theBadGuy37 9
Or how to use a space after sentence ending punctuation.
MrBond007_fml 6
Screw you bad guy, my spaces are perfect!
theBadGuy37 9
Really? Where is the space in "part!Sory"? And why did I get thumbed down for being right?
MrBond007_fml 6
It's Probably your computer, I did "part! (tab) sory (instead of sorry, but we already covered that)
theBadGuy37 9
Hmm... Apparently the app doesn't show spaces between paragraphs. My bad.
Cartera 10
117 - For being a critical ****-bag who can't realize that it was a mistake.
theBadGuy37 9
126- Wow. Even after realizing my mistake and apologizing? Looks to me like you're just an asshole. Do the world a favor and **** off.
wubbazugg 5
Comment edited after reading the thread.
eggmarie 25
Yes it does. I'm using the app and I see it just fine.
MichellinMan 20
Slash their tires? Wow, he goes hardcore. I would've just egged their car, or something along those lines.
Welshite 40
You're biased MichellinMan. The act of slashing tires probably makes you scream in horror and cringe at the murder of your innocent kindred.
theslimshadylp 6
I bet they wouldn't have slashed if they were Michellin tires!
Shadowvoid 33
Egging someone's car is now considered vandalism because eggs will eat the paint off of a vehicle.
DocBastard 40
You should have taken a 2x4 to their 4x4.
ruabadfishtoo 0
or just asked them to stop parking it there...
walmartpaysme 15
They should have done something to make this story more interesting. If you're going to go to jail, at least make it worth the time.
unknown_user5566 27
Doc, sounds like you created the beginning of a smash-hit country song.
Welshite 40
#52: I'd have suggested target-practice; specifically, with a cannon.
woainishamu 21
Sounds like that movie Walking Tall, starring The Rock or Dwayne Johnson.
DocBastard 40
Kylee, I swear if you steal my idea...
unknown_user5566 27
Doc, me? No, never... *shifty eyes* ;)
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
Looks like you did a good job
unknown_user5566 27
Considering you went to jail with him, you must be a legal adult. With that being said, how the hell did he "force" you to stand guard? If my dad ever thought up an awful plan like that, I'd just say "no" and walk away.
MagicGiraffe 12
Where I live 16 year olds can end up in county jail.
walmartpaysme 15
Has no one ever heard of juvie?
unknown_user5566 27
118- The FML implied the dad and OP were at the same facility. So, I am assuming they weren't at Juvie.
walmartpaysme 15
My point was minors can be arrested.