Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML
Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
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Top comments
flinkpamingo 0
First, you shouldn't be mad at her. HE is the one who dogged you. Secondly, grow up, get a life and realize that anyone who makes you that angry and treats you like that isn't worth the power it takes to squish a bug. What a waste. Go find someone who acctually loves you and wants to be with you. Come on, suck it up and move on, and have a nice day. You deserve better.
Lolbrittany 0
should've egged HIS house/vehicle.
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Comments (147)
somethingawesome 9
I didn't know people could own their own girls? Where can I get some.
kaelendra 0
ok I get it's bad your bf slept with someone else and if the fml ended with that I wouldn't have hit the ydi button but grow up. it's his fault and choice to have done what he did. I'm betting from the sound of things you're not that old either in which case I bet others live at her place too like parents... hope they figure out it was you that did it!
taradylan 0
wow, how old are you? well, from someone obviously more mature, take my advice. your boyfriend slept with someone else. sooooo, he obviously doesn't give a shit about you. what exactly was the point of going after her? he's the one who knows he's NOT single. he's the one that ****** you over. your revenge is pointed in the wrong direction.
susangriffith 0
why do you blame the girl? its your boyfriend who's in a relationship, not that girl. egg his house. No, let me guess, you forgave him, but she's still a ****?
paris78_fml 0
You and "your girls" FAIL. What are you? 10? Grow up. This is probably one of the only times I've ever had to say ydi on this site.
Spittal 0
This is proof that girls can't do pranks.
bexox 0
Oh yeah? Well you can't menstruate! So suck it!
uhmfml 0
hahha #100, you made my day. That made me laugh so hard.
theanonimouse 0
Lolz were had.
AAAAHHHH12 2
I'd say you deserve better than the boyfriend that you have/had, but just reading what you do for revenge makes me believe you deserve exactly what you're getting. Just give up on him and move on. Break all ties, he obviously wasn't in for the long haul and didn't care for your feelings in the end of it all. There's someone better out there for you...maybe. Ish. Possibly.
beerab 0
That's ridiculous- the girl wasn't in a commited relationship with you- your BF was... You attempted to egg the wrong person. I hope you have a shred of self esteem and broke up with him.
SnayUnicornPower 0
She probably just forgave him after he said that she "Made me do it" Or better yet, chances are she's not even really dating him, he just ****** her and she got all emotionally attached. Anywho. All around. Whatafag
AdvocataDiaboli 0
You... suck.
nerdie 0
shouldn't you be egging your boyfriend's house?