Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML
Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said, "Did you have fun at the party?" I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied, "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left." FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
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Top comments
roflcopterlmao 0
Couldn't you have just made up some excuse about how you read that spicy mustard is good for your skin and you wanted to try it? Even if you're a guy - it would still keep you out of trouble. Just act embarrassed that they caught you and apologize. YDI. (P.S. Busted and Mustard don't rhyme, if that's what you were trying to do. D;)
coopcas 0
You deserved it for not inviting all of us, you little bitch.
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Comments (75)
Imawhalerider 0
mustard sex? thats a very nasty taste.
beren456 1
More like "Didn't you know I use mustard instead of shampoo? Especially the spicy stuff"
roflcopterlmao 0
Couldn't you have just made up some excuse about how you read that spicy mustard is good for your skin and you wanted to try it? Even if you're a guy - it would still keep you out of trouble. Just act embarrassed that they caught you and apologize. YDI. (P.S. Busted and Mustard don't rhyme, if that's what you were trying to do. D;)
ilikeboys 0
#3 you're awesome.
volleyballgirl16 0
#3 you win OP- thats funny roflcopter
mrblonde_fml 0
roflcopter, it definitely could rhyme. I'm from Boston so I pronounce the two words exactly the same except for the first letter... it depends how you say it i guess
saa994 0
I've heard that putting mustard or something like that in your hair makes it silky smooth... you should have told them that.
likeOMGwow 0
#29 ftw
Shawtie 0
....lol thats pure genius
averageirishman 0
FTW
DieInAFire 0
Bullshit. this was a thread on another site. the punch line was chicks love taco sauce (spicy mustard in this case)
Kouroo_fml 0
..Couldn't you have made up some excuse? I know it's weird to have mustard in the shower, obviously, but I don't see how you couldn't have thought of SOMETHING that wouldn't suggest you had a party. Like you were trying to pull a prank and see if anyone would grab the mustard by mistake and not the shampoo. Lame prank/excuse? Yes, but it'd be better then getting busted for partying.
genius_man16 1
That was my thought. OP clearly deserves it for not coming up with an excuse.
Person1233 13
Lolwut is my only response to this FML.
brandnewyou 0
hahaha.
ibaneziceman 0
That's hilarious.
SomeGuy1234 0
That sounds like a hell of a party.
coopcas 0
You deserved it for not inviting all of us, you little bitch.
blackdog218 0
Who the hell takes mustard into the bathroom?
xNephilim 19
That's the whole point of the FML. Nobody does, which is why the parents figured he had a party. I have to say, his parents don't think of their kid too highly if a party is the first thing on their mind when they find mustard in the shower. Knowing me and my family, I'd say that their first guess would be that I found a new tip online and decided to try it.