Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML
Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML
Today, after almost two days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML
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Top comments
waveman56 3
on the bright side..... you had a good ******
underguarded 20
****** =win husband=fail fact that you married him= unexplainable
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Comments (172)
trippydoll 4
>.<
mazzera_fml 7
( . Y . )
Garytt 0
o_x
pinkp909 8
awe that suckss :(
underguarded 20
OMG amI 2?
underguarded 20
nope nvm I'm 3. At least OP ,had an ****** on their wedding night . That's at least a Semi Win. Fail for marrying a stupid husband.
dramaa 0
that is really sad
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
hardly, easy solution buy a jacuzzi that way you get your ****** and he gets you to stfu.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
ooo I need to get a jacuzzi.
kutiekathy 2
you shouldn't really complain, you got a husband and an ******. that doesn't really sound that bad
Cheekylozza 3
Stop being a selfish bitch! it's the best night of his life he's bound to get pissed.
Person1233 13
I didn't think people like this existed.
goatmanjizz 0
so keen for a war job a nice wet eat hole
roflcopter4 0
The fml, is that her husband can't give it to her. That is sad!
frozzenhart 0
haha 87 ;))) hopefully he didn't piss in the jacuzzi while , at the same time , his wife is mixing her fluids in . Gonna be a stinky jacuzzi ;X
Grosso 3
at least you had some action - I didn't have any on both my "first nights"
iSitt 0
op probably doesn't have to buy a whole jacuzzi, just a pulse massager attachment to the shower.
waveman56 3
on the bright side..... you had a good ******
MacNuggets 0
let's say at least she got married and is having a honeymoon.
CollegeGirl2010 0
sucks for u
Quest_ 13
Clearly, he doesn't.
DeesFMLs 0
hahah ^ LOL :)
butterfly403 12
id find out what brand the jacuzzi is. lol. but yeah, that sux. fyl.
Sydney92 3
oh yeah, gotta be dem sexy jets. makin women ****** everywhere.
DoWorkBro 4
There you go, something that was bad (your husband being passed out) turned into something good for you ( ******)
mzeemzima 0
haha waterer u say Justin
shelley35 0
JUSTIN!!!! I AM THE BIGGEST BELIEBER!!! (Is that how you spell it?)
syddyb 0
Maybe you should have watched how much he drank? I dont know, just a suggestion(:
underguarded 20
****** =win husband=fail fact that you married him= unexplainable
Jaydos 0
Everyone gets shit faced once in a while. he obviously was celebrating a bit too hard but that doesnt mean hes a bad husband or a bad choice. i bet youve been really ****** up before because i know i have
Sydney92 3
yeahhh he was just sooo thrilled that he celebrated too much I'm sure he still loves u or why would he marry u
satanisthesavior 21
Because how good someone is at sex is the only consideration, right?
Sandsh8rk 36
Damn. :/