Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
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Top comments
missyj0 12
it was a mistake but I don't blame him for getting turned off.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
....the dead goldfish? The drugs? Oh, wait. That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it...
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Comments (100)
missyj0 12
it was a mistake but I don't blame him for getting turned off.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I want to thank you for posting a worthwhile comment and not posting "FIRST!1!!!11!!!!" :)
therealslim 15
^ Or you could just thumb it up. Yeah.
Bluekaren16 19
So the candles didn't mask off the smell?
silbot 11
You were going to take a romantic BATH with your boyfriend after taking a dump? Gross
silbot 11
You were going to take a romantic BATH with your boyfriend after taking a dump? Gross
ninjakittyxx 5
At least OP didn't poop in the bath :) still a turn off though, bad timing for poops.
5t3ff1k4h 45
32 - Candles or air fresheners do nothing but make it smell like someone shit on a bouquet of flowers.
Canuck13 12
54 - A bouquet full of shit, what a lovely thought lol
TBelle4Ever 15
54 Or a Christmas Tree
subwaysurfers 13
34/35- People actually wipe their ass when they finish their business.
zimripple 8
That would be fairly disturbing
JaybirdCPA 2
Too bad he's not japanese, outcome would be completely different...
Vo13c3s1nMyH3ad 7
Not in Japan :$
little_one 20
They might have meant because it would smell gross.
NOOBSQUAD 0
143 meant not in Japan because they use things that shoots water into your ass :)
subwaysurfers 13
150- Even better!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I don't blame him, but FYL, that would be embarrassing :(
IAmJad 18
She should've used a different toilet in the house. FYL OP.
Osito2011 9
Not every house has two toilets.
bball234 6
not a she..
IAmJad 18
Actually, if she owns a bath big enough for 2, then she should own another toilet.
missmurderx 8
Or she could have just flushed...
OMFGLOLWTF 0
I guess, TheMissMuffly isn't so classy.
borkchop1992 15
I call fake girls dont poop
erikaxlindsay 2
Been there, done that. Everyone does it, laugh it off :)
CVeNgineer 0
Apparently not everyone cuz I don't do it
datgamerchick 14
Everyone has forgotten to flush the toilet at one point in their lives. Even if just once.
saintsrocksocks 10
What is a cuz?
Trix_Disorder 20
Why is this getting thumbed down?
onlychildFTW 34
I've never not flushed.
erikaxlindsay 2
Everyone poops!!!
UsernameHere234 13
94- you should take an IQ test. Cuz with answers like that you must be a genius.
BunchieRules 31
102 - Your comment didn't exactly win a gold medal either.
Dusty_Busters 15
I don't think everyone plans a romantic bath with their boyfriend/girlfriend then leaves a fat log in the toilet
bobeattaco 5
Never not done nothin'
ugh_a_lug 7
I have seen way too many public toilets that have not been flushed for it to be possible for all these people claiming that they have never forgotten to flush. There is no way that many people can say they have not forgotten to flush and yet 80% of the toilets in the restroom have residue. The horror!
blade4080 7
What a shitty situation
SqueakyChipmunk 22
SHUT. YOUR. *****. MOUTH.
datgamerchick 14
That pun has become unfunny, due to its constant usage on FML.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I'm assuming you're new here so I'll fill you in... That sort of pun is way overused and generally frowned upon in the FML community ^.^ Have a great day!
blade4080 7
Yes, I'm very new.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
....the dead goldfish? The drugs? Oh, wait. That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Guys, refer to the last line of the FML if You don't get it. -_-;
BrysGirl27 14
Hahahah:) I got it:)
saintsrocksocks 10
I got it and I also read it in a squeaky voice like you requested. Thumb up for you my friend!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Huzzah!
NOOBSQUAD 0
In squeakychipmunks profile it says to read everything in a squeaky voice he demands it.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
SHE. IM A SHE, GODDAMNIT. ARRRGGGG!!!!
saintsrocksocks 10
Noob you didn't do what I think you did.
NOOBSQUAD 0
Didn't read that part sorry...
saintsrocksocks 10
At least you didn't spell anything wrong or you'd be dead.
NOOBSQUAD 0
Yes I agre (I know it's agree)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
*stabs* Die, bitch! (By the way guys, I'm thinking about making a 'ask me' blog. Kinda like Jappleack's(look it up on YouTube) message me your opinion ^^)
saintsrocksocks 10
What did I just watch?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
:D A demented version of applejack. Huzzah for the PONY.MOV series!
hahasooo 2
#6 your a girl?
irishboii957 2
Squeakychipmunk in your bio you missed number 10
yupitssoph 18
Squeakychipmunk you share a birthday with my sister. Woohoo! Once she touched a seemingly diseased chipmunk.
COOL__Coal 12
71 if you make such a big deal over every spelling error why did you just say noob. Last I checked that is not a word.
eccentrix 12
Slang words can be spelled incorrectly.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
122) That was on purpose :D 124) Oh that's coo---WHAT THE HELL WHY WOULD SHE POKE A DEAD CHIPMUNK THAT'S HORRIBLE DOES SHE HAVE NO BOUNDRIES OH GOD WHY
saintsrocksocks 10
I was quoting something from chipmunk's bio by when she said a rabid chipmunk will attack you if you spell wrong. By the way, noob is a word, but newb isn't.
datgamerchick 14
So? It's just a dump. Everyone poops.
amyybr 0
ur dumb
SqueakyChipmunk 22
.... Shut up.
saintsrocksocks 10
No OP is human and makes mistakes. You're* dumb.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
If you're going to call someone dumb, you may not want to substitute "ur" for "you're." It sort of makes you look like the uneducated one.
alshygirl 14
It's too bad the good smelling bath didn't mask it better
julygirl18 8
My brother thinks girls don't poop so yah...
YoshiMike13 4
that HAD to be embarrassing! but on the bright side, everyone does it. Im sure that killed the mood and that sucks. I dont think you deserved it.
SarMarJo 17
I remember that happeneing to me once. But he didn't get disgusted. he flushed for me and we proceeded our bath. Now we are married and we take dumps with the door open. ;)
PerfasarusRex 3
Girls don't poop.
Prolux_fml 23
"Everyone does it". O.o Not me bro... I bet you're the person who leaves giant, gag-inducing ***** in public toilets...
YoshiMike13 4
#138 i was talking about ******** in general, and i dont shit in public bathrooms because i am germaphobic when it comes to that, but whatever floats your boat dude.