Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML
Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
stephfml 0
Wear a turtleneck
TEAZO 0
shouldn't of had rough sex before your speech XD
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Comments (179)
Danny_Shakes 0
What is with all these God Freaks lately? Do not judge people, if you wanted to judge someone I would gladly come to your Church sleep with your sisters, premartially of course. This would be followed by a lovely drug charged orgy. Praise Jesus.
Geicogecko 2
you have no friends... no one likes you.... shut up
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
.........What.........?
bryannab1 0
Um....... What are you talking about?
kpond 0
Well that was uneccesary...
Kazze 31
Meth. Not even once.
Kingrayer 0
wow thats prefect, if you dont have a turtle neck you could always do cover up or call out :/
hayleyjames 0
wear a scarf even if it's summer where a lite one
zumazuma 0
and call it the new style :)
ddrfunkmaster 0
isn't that called rape
Kennzz 0
rape is if they say no dumbass
Sweej 1
Actually, technically it is rape already... It isn't rape if the girl CONSENTS, meaning she physically writes it down... Or she could sue for rape. Although no one does this, it is still the factual meaning.
may_cause_fail 0
Hahaha. Great job! :D Tell them you wanted to make a point?
maconmann 0
lol 9 is a little bitch. It's fine if your religious and have religious values but that doesnt mean you have to push them on others.
patrickhb 0
Tell 'em it's not abuse; if need be, tell them what actually happened. Why not. It's not a crime, it's your choice. If they seem shocked, screw them. Metaphorically.
surferhottie23 0
oh they went Chris Brown in each other
patrickhb 0
What did #9 say? I didn't see it before it was moderated.
Jazar2054 0
That must have been...um... a crazy crazy night and can you say OUCH?
liquidpaper 0
So during your speech, the audience sees a person speaking about domestic violence, who was possibly a victim of domestic violence herself. Might as well make it work.
sammie143 0
Good point