Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML
Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
stephfml 0
Wear a turtleneck
TEAZO 0
shouldn't of had rough sex before your speech XD
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Comments (179)
LittleMissMack 0
Tell them you walked into a door... it's what all the cool people are doing. =) And #14 - no it is not rape. Some people like it rough.
generalsmith 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
aughghg they moderated my comment! here it goes again! how dare you have premarital sex you filth!! i hope you fall upon your area of degradation and render your parts unworkable
mac_fml 0
TALK ABOUT PROPS! you could use that in your presentation! also, it seems that scarved are also in right now
maconmann 0
IM GOING TO SLAP 9/23 IN THE FACE!
LittleMissMack 0
Dear #23- I've had premarital sex. God and Jesus still love me. My boyfriend and I still go to church together every Sunday, with my dad. Oh, and aren't you being a bit hypocritical? Who are you to judge? Are you in any position of authority? Are you their mother/father/guardian? Are you God/Allah/Jesus? Looooooove, LMM (ps) Kudos #26
kpond 0
What did 26 even say
generalsmith 0
im just playin 26.
MCart_fml 0
I'd bring him with you and show off how much damage you did... the last time I had rough sex with a girl she did ten times the damage to me that I did to her. To be fair, before we started she asked me "are you SURE you want it rough?" I said yes and got exactly what I deserved ;)
fermata 0
I probably wouldn't talk about where the bruises came from. Abuse and DV can leave quite traumatic marks on ppl. As such, they may not take your nonchalant mentioning of "rough sex" so well. Turtlenecks work well. Try foundation and concealer also. If you still can't conceal them, just don't say anything. You could have fallen off a tree for all they know.
generalsmith 0
dear 27. im sorry you are an idiot. do you really think i would have an account on this site or even have found it if i was the type of person to go around judging people. stupid....
LittleMissMack 0
Dear #31- Some people who are crazy/psycho/judgmental religious folks do have accounts on sites such as these, just to post their obnoxious rubbish. My bad, I'm just super defensive. Loooooove, LMM