Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
Today, I had to awkwardly explain in a conference with HR, management, and my coworkers that the occasional bruises, cuts, welts, and choke marks are from consensual BDSM sex and NOT domestic violence. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why couldn't you have said you were clumsy? And if you're constantly bruising from your overactive sex life, maybe try using some concealer to avoid having to admit this to other concerned family members in the future.
jbuckets_404 39
Guess you'll just have to start wearing long-sleeve turtlenecks and sweatpants from now on year-round.... JS.
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Comments (7)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why couldn't you have said you were clumsy? And if you're constantly bruising from your overactive sex life, maybe try using some concealer to avoid having to admit this to other concerned family members in the future.
jbuckets_404 39
Guess you'll just have to start wearing long-sleeve turtlenecks and sweatpants from now on year-round.... JS.
RichardPencil 32
You are getting abused. You just have Stockholm Syndrome with your abuser.
Gubbon 17
Bad statement or just bad joke?
SirSteamLocomotive 9
Actually, BDSM and kink can be healthy relationships. There is a legitimate difference between abuse and BDSM. As a kinky one myself. OP, keep being you.
Lt_Senpai 21
Kinky
Drai Gray 8
i almost feel like my s/o posted this, i'm a good foot & a half taller than her....