Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend has some bruises from her karate class. We went shopping together and needless to say, I got quite a few dirty looks. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
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Top comments
brianna1494 27
Wow, your girlfriend should have stood up for you and used her karate skills. If you were completely beat up, she must have just been standing there!
Nicolette1996 22
I’m loosing my humanity after reading stuff like this. People should pay for what they did. You can’t just attack people because you think it’s a right thing to do when you don’t even know them. Nobody has the right to beat anyone, unless you’re defending yourself. I’m so sorry OP... people are so aggressive these days!
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Comments (35)
brianna1494 27
Wow, your girlfriend should have stood up for you and used her karate skills. If you were completely beat up, she must have just been standing there!
hellphone_fml 37
maybe she has the bruises because shes not good at karate
WHSKitty 7
I second that! Wtf?
RichardPencil 32
Looks like you’re the one who needs self-defense classes! You could take karate, judo or Krav Make-America-Great-Again.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
dumb bitches
Davros 12
Emperor Palpatine: Your hate has made you strong. You have now become that which you despise. Haa ha ha ha haaaaaaa.
Nicolette1996 22
I’m loosing my humanity after reading stuff like this. People should pay for what they did. You can’t just attack people because you think it’s a right thing to do when you don’t even know them. Nobody has the right to beat anyone, unless you’re defending yourself. I’m so sorry OP... people are so aggressive these days!
raven_of_azarath 35
I agree, those women took this way too far. The proper thing to do is to talk to the suspected abusee, and/or go to the cops, not take matters into your own hands. This would be like a teacher beating up a parent cuz they mistook bruises from a sport or just playing in general to be signs of abuse.
xXDemonWolfXx 13
You can definitely hit women back. He 100% should have
nmrhog 15
Jesus, if my husband was beat up everytime someone saw bruises on me, he would never be out of hospital long. I bruise over the littlest thing.
WHSKitty 7
I always say that the cat and dog beat me up when I see bruises on me. I’m visually impaired, and have Cerebral Palsy and balance issues due to said CP, , so I’m always bumping into things, falling, etc.
alycion 39
On blood thinners and also have fall issues from Lupus. My doctors know both but still always ask if I need domestic help. I also have a husky who likes to bounce off of me. I’m waiting for them to try to call animal control over the paw print bruises.
TomBran84 2
if she wont stand up for you, dump her, or explain what the bruises are, or she does that. radical feminists are ridiculous.
WHSKitty 7
Hiiii-yah!! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)
DragonMaiden7 15
If she wasn’t willing to stand up for you, she’s not a woman you should be standing beside.
acmariner99 25
Why didn’t she stand up for you?
interesting33 37
it is possible they didn't believe her and thought she was covering for hin