Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*
flockz 20
sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.
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Comments (327)
KiddNYC1O 22
Something similar happens to me. When say I want to pour some milk from the gallon to an empty water bottle when I'm done I'd put the gallon top on the water bottle or the other way around. Not as bad as your shit, though lol.
HeXr 22
I am taking a shit right now. I've taken many ***** with my phone. Drunk, sober, sick, sleepy... and I've never confused my phone for TP and I can guarantee I never will. Unless maybe I'm given a frontal lobotomy.
KiddNYC1O 22
Shit, I've confused my iPod touch for my pillow when sleepy.
torrentuser 1
ydi for living
tayza249 20
I don't understand why anyone needs to take their phone into the toilet. Firstly, you wash your hands after going to the toilet (I hope) to get rid of the germs. Those germs are most likely going onto your phone. It might be understandable to take your phone in if you're expecting a call, but even then.. Do you really want the person on the phone to hear you taking a dump?
lmaoatall 6
There's an app for that?!
ballbearing 10
You deserve it. Have you any idea how disgusting you are for using your phone on the shitter?! Really, what does it matter you wiped shit on it? It would already be covered in fecal matter!
lmaoatall 6
Stop being anal you germafobe! A perfectly good phone went in op's asscrack. Poor phone.
sillygoth243 0
Germaphobe* lol
scottgeo 0
I can see where you could get the 2 confused.
footbalperson09 0
i prefer angel soft
JadedJarOfHearts 3
iShit
luvliidee21 5
u was talking shit?
ikickgingers 15
"U was"??!!! Please, please, shoot me now.
NoWarranty_fml 14
you're not a lolcat, use proper grammar