Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
Today, I shat myself, all because my little sister spent two hours trying to make a TikTok video in the one bathroom we have in the house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Sorry, but you're wrong. She was using the Force to get you to come in and bring her the toilet paper, and it worked. Watch your back.
farnsworth 3
The force is strong with this one
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
farnsworth 3
The force is strong with this one
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Feisty one you are!!
kelissa_fml 16
I'd just yell for my sister to get it. Ahaha the force isn't very strong for me.
GingerKid14 3
That's not the worst thing you could walk in on her doing. Consider yourself lucky, OP.
DustyStorm 16
And it actually worked! She got the roll....
kristena103 14
I imagined u saying it like ur old the force is strong with this one..
nublets 12
I find your lack of faith disturbing..
bfrench95 0
Well are you going to help your sister?
primadonna9396 16
Forget that, why the **** didn't OP knock first? Damn hippies.
zaynismylove 2
the stupid is strong in this one
FailBear920 19
There is no try only do!
Krystal3408 32
Bet she shit herself trying to use "the force"
DontGuessMyName 5
Says Mr. Farnsworth.
DatDappyDde 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The force is strong with this one...
farnsworth 3
I liked yours because we posted at the same time. Great minds think alike but I invented the finglonger
muzy 23
The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be unnatural.
Sean3pO 4
No, #7 you just saw how the world would've been if you created the finglonger on the what-if machine... =P
farnsworth 3
Listen up you whipper snapper! In fact I was watching myself on how the world would be If I didn't invent the finglonger!
Sean3pO 4
We were both wrong old man, where's a memory ray when you need one? You used the what-if machine to see what it would've been like if you had invented it, but then invented it later on.
camer0n15 8
Is she a little slow?
RoseTintMyWorld 8
No, just a lot awesome.
Michael_92 20
Nothing wrong with this...just a normal day in the bathroom using "the force". Doesn't everyone do that?
DocBastard 40
Sorry, but you're wrong. She was using the Force to get you to come in and bring her the toilet paper, and it worked. Watch your back.
cinderellacat 0
Whats up with your picture?
Kyzahhh 7
9 I'm guessing it is something he removed from a patient
sr101998 0
Or a deer.
alkerh 8
Why would you remove it from a deer?
farnsworth 3
^ to stab twice!
ScaughtieHolden 11
Well it's a steak knife, I don't know many hoodlums who carry those around. Maybe someone fell on it while making dinner.
DocBastard 40
The "watch your back" in my comment is strangely appropriate here. I pulled that knife out of a patient's back. His brother had put it there.
hutch8429 0
That sucks for the brother who got stabbed. Crazy rednecks more than likely.
LilTiki559 13
Lmafao, oh Farnsworth..you WiN so hard, you deserve a medal.
possiblelozer 4
Ohh that sucks.
itsalanis 25
such imagination :)
death_dolphin24 0
THE FORSE IS NOT IMAGINARY.
death_dolphin24 0
*FORCE autocorrect, you bastard.
The_creator_fml 2
Sadly, I'm guilty of trying this...
nightingale96 2
It's ok. You're not alone
Michael_92 20
And here I thought I was the only one...small world
sr101998 0
Unless you walk
COCKYmanUSC 3
Using the force and accio. Both of which I try frequently
spinky03 7
May the force be with her
perdix 31
She chose the wrong sci-fi franchise -- she should have gone with Star Trek. They're the ones to show you how to wipe out Klingons.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
TREKKIE! *Geek Rage*
PerditaDessa 38
There are multiple FML's on here about Trekkies and sex mishaps so she might want to stick with Star Wars for now.
jaredjudd21 2
It was worth a try, two steps is a long ways away when your on the toilet.
tifani322 13
You could always reach your arms. Problem solved :)
captainfalcon7 0
everyone has to find out they don't have the force sometime in life..
RoseTintMyWorld 8
It's like turning 11 and not getting your Hogwarts letter. Just one of life's little disappointments.
ChaosAngel17 14
And what if they do have it...?
bizarre_ftw 22
Then they go to platform nine and three- Ohhhhh you're not talking about the letter!!! Nm Then they enjoy more leisurely bathroom breaks
Hyman_Hunter 0
It was definitely heart breaking when I never got mine... I had such big plans for the wizarding world