Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*
flockz 20
sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.
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Comments (327)
salsa324 0
Oh that's nasty!
mserrato 8
Why would you use your phone while taking a dump?
MrSaxMan 0
To update your twitter to "takin a dump"
HomeAl0ne 20
Your call is important to us. Please select from the following options. Press 1 for number 1. Press 2 for number 2.
woiz 11
apple should take this golden idea for their next version of iPhone ...(wipe ass app ) fyl
Freeze_fml 17
Several things are revolting in this FML.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I have to go with YDI on this one. If her knocking had startled you into dropping the phone in the toilet somehow or onto the floor where it broke I would agree that your life sucks. In this instance though I don't understand how you can possibly make such a mistake. Why would you be reaching for the toilet paper with the hand holding the phone? If you weren't then why would suddenly switch which hand you intended to wipe with just because she wants you to hurry up? Most importantly, a phone doesn't feel remotely like toilet paper so you should have felt the difference as soon as you moved your hand towards your ass.
ShyAnn29 15
Did it also take a picture? That'd be an odd picture, unless someone likes looking at pictures of buttholes and shit :-/
MerrikBarbarian 9
There are people with that fetish scarily enough... Virtually anything you can imagine is a fetish to someone
StromyG2 10
I was feeling sorry for you (as all of your previous 50 comments were burried) but after reading this, I think you deserve it. Just stop.
ShyAnn29 15
I have every right to comment here, like everyone else, I don't care if I get thumbed down several times
bubo_fml 11
Imagine the dilemma if your phone rang immediately after you wiped!!
ladyhawks13 0
well now it's a shitty phone ...
MetroidSlayer01 8
You must have a shitty phone. Js