Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*
flockz 20
sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.
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Comments (327)
germasian96 7
wouldnt you notice that your clothes didn't smell good?
Torva_fml 16
Clothes and phone... I don't see the correlation.
VorpikeII 17
Butt, there IS an app for that. It just requires the use of lots of extra soap!
kris8519 0
gross
germasian96 7
oops, my phone glitched. sorry :(
OfficeNinja 5
Yet another cool app for the iPhone! It really can do everything!
plehning77 0
Ahahahahahahahahah
notsoluckypup 12
I guess you can now say you have a crappy phone.
pyrt93 4
so this happens every day?
AlaskaKid95 7
-Cleveland voice- Oh that's just nasty.
rattusrattus 19
I feel sorry for the person on the other end of the line... first they have to listen to pooping, then they get up close and personal hearing the sound of wiping. F their life.
plehning77 0
Haha so true.
Igor_g5 0
You don't know the difference between a phone? Idiot.
Sniper3000 0
It is you that is the idiot because "you don't know the difference between a phone" makes no sense
13FMYLIFE 0
iTissue- the new app that turns into toilet paper so you can wipe your ass but not waste money on toilet paper or the energy it takes to reach for it!...