Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
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Top comments
peanutbutterfly 0
WOOOOOW... just claim it accidentally called him when you were doing the dishes
Phoenix_GAD 0
fail. lol i have a touch screen too. it calls random people.
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Comments (160)
Phoenix_GAD 0
fail. lol i have a touch screen too. it calls random people.
runescapescool 0
your new name is: Tinker!
Phoenix_GAD 0
wait. i just thought of something. so just today i left a message for this girl and it was just random noises, like the radio when i was driving home. my fone gave me a chance to review the message or to delete it. so wouldnt the fone keep recording until you said to stop, and then you could just delete the message? just thinking "out loud" here...
emmaphant 0
Not all phones give that option. I know mine doesn't.
ryguy997 0
if it's not an iPhone it sucks.
luvtheknot 6
wow my iPhone doesn't call people even when I hit the screen it sucks
crankdatIRISH 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
NoisyNykkii 10
I didn't know ducks could be hookers!
peanutbutterfly 0
WOOOOOW... just claim it accidentally called him when you were doing the dishes
MusicAddict321 0
I dont make a pissing sound when i do the dishes. Thats just me though.
inerdablanket 4
maybe she hand washes her dishes, and water running into a sink full of water sounds like pissing. :|
sarahbella101 7
but usually you turn the water on louder than peeing noises.
yumgranolabar 5
lovely.
albinorhino 0
? I bet It turned him on Sike u fail
fml_fiend91 0
yea it could be worse you could have had to go #2, or you could have called your boss
spiffles 0
You could....tell him it was a joke...?
anoymousjoe 0
not really a fml, it would be ****** if u said he broke up with u for that stupid reason.....
ajrmajor 0
I don't know about you, but I would be mad if someone got all pissy at me over the phone.
jncwmnd 0
you don't have enough control of your bladder muscles to stop long enough to reach for it?
rhazz 0
I think it'd be kinda hard to stop peeing if you're busting and have already started...
jncwmnd 0
busting?? I'm talkin about the ability to stop peeing O_O
dyld921 2
I think it'd be kinda hard to have the ability to stop peeing if you're bursting and have already started...
jncwmnd 0
well that makes more sense lol...but maybe its just me that has awesome muscles in my lowers =p lol
equastriangirl 0
this is definitley a YDI no matter how badly you had to pee u should definitley be able to hold it for 5 seconds to grab your phone even if you were "bursting"
Melsy187 3
There's a point in time when you are so full of piss and you start peeing, you cannot close your urethra. It's just not done. LOL.
donner1423 0
It's not like he thought you were inhuman or superhuman, jeez.
FML_FYL_YDI 0
Agree with #8.